Having Sex Vs. Making Love

What's the difference between "having sex" and "making love"?

making love vs having sex

Among my least favorite words and phrases in the English language are: 'date night,' 'panties,' and 'making love.' And among those, the worst offender is by far 'making love.' I've never understood why people can't just say 'having sex,' the sort of innocuous, less-pervy alternative. I mean, use whatever phrase you want with the person you're doin' it with, but in mixed company, 'making love' just reeks of things that are too private to share with others. (Am I the only one who immediately thinks of 'love juice' when I hear the term or is that a common word association?). The Frisky: Is Outercourse The New Intercourse?


Anyway, in case you were wondering what the difference is between 'having sex' and 'making love,' a sex-related Q&A column on MSN attempts to give the answer.

A: This is the sort of question that, by rights, should be discussed over glasses of Martini Bianco in a café in Paris with the smoke from a Galois cigarette, held between the thin fingers of a beautiful and challenging woman, hovering in the air like a storm cloud. But this is the Internet, alas. It is possible to have sex and not be making love. The one-night hook-up after four mojitos comes to mind. It is also possible to make love and be having sex. Sometimes having the raunchiest, nastiest sex is a supreme act of love because when you love someone so much you can share that fantasy about your fourth grade teacher Miss Canfield, the class trip to the zoo, and the zebra incident, you're displaying a lot of trust. And it is possible to be making love and not having sex, technically speaking, just by sharing a look, a smile, a touch.

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Now, if any of you start going around bragging about how you made love to some guy at the coffee shop when what you really meant is that you smiled at him, I swear to God, I'm going to have to reach through my computer screen, into your computer screen and wring you neck! I wouldn’t be completely opposed to hearing about how you had sex with him though… The Frisky: 10 Sex Locations You Thought Were Hot, But Are Really Not

What's your definition of "having sex" v. "making love?"

Written by Wendy Atterberry for The Frisky.

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