Love, Self

Do Men Fear Committing To You? Why Guys Take Commitment Very Seriously

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Survey: Men Take Commitment VERY Seriously

It's been said that men fear commitment. And that may be understating the case drastically. But when asked to list things they are afraid of, sharks just edged out proposing marriage. And when you want to know how to get him to commit, having him face his commitment issues is just the start.

Since Velociraptors and Tyrannosaurus Rex went the way of the dinosaur, the scariest creature on the face of the Earth is the shark (followed closely by the tiger, with the hippopotamus and werewolf tied for a distant third). So, what does that say about perceptions regarding marriage? That dudes are nearly as afraid of getting married as they are of being eaten by a shark?

RELATED: 13 VERY Upsetting Things I Learned About Men Who Won't Commit

When Hollywood needs a reckless killing machine to scare the Helsinki out of moviegoers, they send in the sharks. Jaws nearly closed every beach on Earth. Deep Blue Sea saw badass Samuel L. Jackson being stalked and then eaten by "a f***ing shark."

Some people thought Open Water was the next coming of The Blair Witch Project because of the circling sharks. And even the Jessica Alba and Paul Walker in bathing suits vehicle, Into The Blue, had some scary shark-eating-human-face action to add to the suspense.


That having your face eaten by a prehistoric face-eating machine is only slightly scarier than getting hitched must mean something. And it means that men must take commitment very seriously. Armchair psychology tells us that modern dudes associate lifelong commitment with death. (Per Prince, "It means forever and that's a mighty long time.")

RELATED: 10 Tangible Ways To Prove How Much You Love Him

Our lives are fairly fluid, while most people end up in close proximity to where they grew up, we go away to college, we switch jobs a dozen times, our political and social mores evolve, and even our tastes buds morph, so the idea of one person and forever seems like asking a lot.

Can having commitment issues be taken as a good sign? Is viewing marriage as a death sentence really an acknowledgement that "'til death do us part" is being taken seriously? 

Why do women (stereotypically) have less of an issue with the idea of eternity? Is there some ingrained sense of storybook naïveté at work? Is it an issue of feminine "tend and befriend" vs. masculine "fight or flight"? That is, does a guy's genetic disposition to "spread his seed, plow that field, hit it and quit it, bang bang bang the drum" make him nervous about sticking around on the long-term?

Are men all an eyelash away from being Ricky Bobby's dad? Do women count on having a chance for a late-life do-over because they tend to outlive men? Is there some maternal instinct at play? And finally, is there some romantic stick-to-it-iveness that the Y Chromosome just can't handle?

I'd appreciate any insight. Because being about as afraid of marriage as you are of sharks is a little ridiculous (unless wives have laser beams on their heads).

RELATED: 3 Steps To Get The Commitment From Him That You Want (And Deserve)

Tom Miller is a writer and performer based in New York. He's been a mechanical engineer and a banker. He's been the general manager and coordinating video producer at YourTango for 12 years. He's probably listening to Bryan Adams' "(Everything I Do) I Do It For You" as we speak.