27 Subtle Signs He's A Keeper

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couple cooking
... featuring advice from eight YourTango Experts!

If you're looking for a life partner, chances are you want someone who's honest, loyal, thoughtful and caring. But what about the subtler details? We asked our experts to list the less obvious traits that marriage-minded adults should keep in mind when looking for husband material, and here's what they had to say:

1. He is not intimidated by your success. A man worth keeping is secure in himself and will support your success. He will praise your efforts and be there to lend an ear when you fall. He will share in your joys and be there to help pick you up  Your success will be about you, not about him. —Amy D. James

2. He can play. Couples who report happy relationships often cite time to play as an important factor in keeping their relationship alive.  Occasional playfulness in a man is a very attractive quality to many. He can joke (but not at your expense), and can laugh at himself. He can take time away from his work and projects to go bowling, play frisbee, or engage in an impromptu game of Scrabble. —Amy D. James

3. He values gender equality. He is comfortable in the kitchen and doesn't feel emasculated by running the vacuum. He can handle you mowing the yard, changing the oil, or washing the vehicles. He can be a bread-winner or a stay at home father. A man's true views on gender roles often tell a lot about his personality and relationship style. Will you be his equal? —Amy D. James

4. He's observant. Would you like your partner to help with household chores? If so, look for a man who is observant. Men who aren't so great about doing their fair share around the house claim that they don't see dishes in the sink, scattered toys or clothes on the floor. Men who notice details in their environment have that extra bit of awareness needed to be full contributors in a household. —Lisa Kaplin

5. He's a dreamer. An often-overlooked quality for a future mate? The ability to dream. Does your guy dream about the perfect vacation, the second house on the beach, a house full of kids or any other fabulous plans? Thinking and dreaming big suggests that he has goals, ambitions and fun in his future. If he's all about practicality and simple stability he might not be the guy to help you fulfill your wildest dreams and fantasies. Life's too short for that. —Lisa Kaplin

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Dr. Lisa Kaplin

YourTango Expert Partner

Dr. Lisa J. Kaplin is a life coach and psychologist you can reach her at:

www.smartwomeninspiredlives.com

 

Location: Chicago, IL
Credentials: CPC, ELI-MP, MS, PsyD
Advanced Member

Dr. Dan Neuharth

Marriage and Family Therapist

Dan Neuharth PhD MFT

Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

California Lic. MFC#29178

My Professional Psychotherapy Practice

Help for Adults Raised in Narcissistic or Controlling Families @ If You Had Controlling Parents

Help for Overcoming Self-defeating Behavior @ Secrets You Keep From Yourself

 

 

 

Location: Greenbrae, CA
Credentials: MFT, PhD
Specialties: Communication Problems, Couples/Marital Issues, Dating/Being Single Support, Personality Disorders
Advanced Member

Melissa Fritchle

Author

Melissa Fritchle, MA, LMFT, is a holistic psychotherapist with a private practice in Capitola, CA specializing in sexuality and couple's issues. She is also an engaging sex educator traveling within the US and globally to support positive sexuality.

Visit her website to read her blog, Conscious Sexual Self, and for upcoming opportunities to connect with Melissa.

www.mf-therapy.com

Location: Capitola, CA
Credentials: LMFT, MA
Specialties: Couples/Marital Issues, LGBT Issues (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender), Sexuality
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Kim Olver

Speaker/Presenter

Kim Olver, LCPC, has been featured in Whole Living, Women's World, Fitness Magazine and Counseling Today and is the best-selling, award winning author of Secrets of Happy Couples: Loving Yourself, Your Partner, and Your Life.

Connect with Kim by signing up for her FREE InsideOut Relationship Advice Newsletter and receive a FREE recording about our Life Changing Process, InsideOut Empowerment and have access to FREE relationship assessments.

Check out new products that might be for you in my Webstore

Location: Country Club Hills (Chicago), IL
Credentials: LCPC, MS, NCC
Specialties: Communication Problems, Couples/Marital Issues, Empowering Women
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Abiola Abrams

Personal Development Coach

When trying to figure out who to love, always start with yourself.

Location: New York, NY
Credentials: BA, MA, Other
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