After getting over 300 emails this morning (and yes, I did read all of them and I have to say they were all quite entertaining), I got one that I just had to share with you. In fact, one of my friends promised that the second this was posted, he was going to email all the women he knew and show them what they need to do to keep a man happy.
Without any more suspense, here's what a woman who called herself "The Desperate Housewife" wrote to me:
More from YourTango: Good God You're Beautiful! Aren't You?
David, do you realize how many of my girlfriends don't know how to give a proper blow job? I was talking to a few of my girlfriends and I realized that it's a huge epidemic. So I want to share my method for giving men the kinds of screaming orgasms that they only see in porn.
Ladies, the first thing that needs to be said here is you must have the right attitude. Your man needs to know you are excited to be able to pleasure him and you're all too eager to get him under your control. You want to turn him on the hottest way possible with a blow job! The best way to give a man a blow job is on your knees, with your man standing. This is one of a million ways to do it, of course, but see how your man feels about this one.
Just for fun, start without the use of your hands. You will incorporate those later on. Make sure your lips are moist and ready for action. Keep some water or some fizzy club soda, handy to keep your mouth moist—the club soda adds pleasure for the man. Slowly and gently, give the head of his penis little nibbles and licks. If you have to use your hands, rub his inner thighs, lightly rub and squeeze his butt, but stay away from "the boys" for now. They have to wait for your attention. You can move onto taking the slightest bit of his penis into your mouth in combination with the nibbling and licking. When he is just getting into the zone of feeling the sensation of your mouth, give him a few thrusts, then pull back. He will appreciate this as you proceed.
More from YourTango: Love After Loss: A Widow's Journey Into The Dating World!
By now he is watching every "inch" of what you are doing, so look into his eyes and let him know just how much you love being able to have his member in your mouth! Lick his penis like it is a big ice cream cone, as you stop at the head to give a suck and a lick here and there. You are pleasing and prepping here, ladies. Lubricate his penis for full entrance into your whole mouth. You can tease him with the nibbles, the licking, the periodic sucking and thrusts until his body language tells you it's time to move on! Look into his eyes and bite your lower lip to show you are just as pleased as he is! Keep reading...
More blow job advice from YourTango: