The Secret Kinky Fantasies Of Each Zodiac Sign
Hot and forbidden.
weheartit Being that there’s no real way I, Ruby Miranda, could know the sordid inner workings of another’s forbidden and oh so luscious fantasy life, I may have to refer to fantasy myself, in order to report on your zodialogical kink-o-meter readings. Oh, you crazy people with your twisted imaginations.
Oh, who am I to point fingers, as describing the zodiac signs' kinky fantasies may rely heavily on my own "interpretation."
The truth is, part of what we gather of the signs in relation to who we are as people is what we experience of others, in those signs. One thing we do is that we all know that one person who is a "so and so" sign, and forever after all people who are born under that sign are assumed to have the same traits as the person we know. Reading the horoscope of another sign is proof of that.
We build stereotypes based on our first real knowledge of a person’s astrological sign and how we interacted with them.
So, as an astrologer and reader, I have come to meet all people — on their worst and best behavior. My knowledge of their kink is due to what they’ve told me and what I remember of their sign. I do know that the zodiac plays a curious role in our kinky underside.
Here are each of the zodiac signs' kinky fantasies.
ARIES (March 21 - April 19)
Aries would like to be covered in transparent red leather and sat upon a pedestal while others come to worship. They would like to see people faint for their beauty and masterfulness. They crave to be touched, deeply and sensuously. They wish to be worshipped, adored, made a sexual religion out of. Their slogan: Come for me. (Yeah, that’s right.)
TAURUS (April 20 - May 20)
The truth behind the kink of Taurus is that they’ll do anything to keep sex exciting and if it’s got them dressing up like a Tardis, so be it. If it’s got them wearing a suit of ice that you have to fireblast them out of, they’re in. If a quick roll in the quicksand with a possible chance of death will spice up the sex, then yes, Taurus is your kink rep for the evening.
GEMINI (May 21 - June 20)
You’re secret is so not safe with me, Gemini, because I’ve heard it too many times before: you’ve either got a thing for Mommy, or Daddy, and at some point, your thing is going to off the rail sexually. You really need that special partner, Gemini, and if the kink is right on, I’d say you’re looking for a mate that nurturing and perhaps even... strict. Naughty Gemini, better run and hide!
CANCER (June 21 - July 22)
Naked, naked, and more naked is your answer. That’s what it’s all about with you, and if you just happened to be naked when you open the door for a stranger, then well, well, well, won’t that be a fun surprise? Oh, how Cancer loves to watch someone admire your every little bodily detail. Makes you want to show off even more, you kinky little b*tch.
LEO (July 23 - August 22)
If you could catwalk with a crowd throwing money at you, you’d do it in a heartbeat, Leo. And while you’re up there strutting your stuff, we could all be sure that you’d be stripping nude for Satan (or your lover) to the catcalls and whistles of your hungry throng of worshippers. Leo loves to be worshipped like a deity, and their deep kink is in the need for you to watch them play.
VIRGO (August 23 - September 22)
You want to be mastered, dominated, owned. You are the ultimate submissive, Virgo — except that in the way all submissive are in total control, you are not only in control, you’ve got a plan to disrupt — and disrupt you shall. Your kink is sexual control while playing the innocent and subservient tease.
LIBRA (September 23 - October 22)
Such a carnal soul you are, Libra, and more than any other sign, your kink is flesh itself. You want to look at it, taste it, nibble on it; you want to crush your own skull between someone else’s legs, you want to go deaf listening to them scream your name as you pleasure them beyond their ability to think any longer. Your kink is hot, naked flesh.
SCORPIO (October 23 - November 21)
You do have a very hardcore kink, and as much as it’s not the biggest thrill to be on the receiving end of, you do have a desire to hurt, threaten, shut down, humiliate, terrorize and basically torture a person. That makes relationships a toughie, eh? Tell us, Scorpio, is there anything you do that doesn’t inflict pain? Thanks, Disinterested Party.
SAGITTARIUS (November 22 - December 21)
Oh, you want that one on one perfect lover, don’t you? Your kink is all about that insane "special" connection you have with another that allows you to lose yourself in the fantasy and the thrill of being someone else — someone dangerous, someone... lethal. You adore the idea of being a killer or at least being thought of as one. You may be a softy in real life, Sagittarius, but in your head, you’re Bond.
CAPRICORN (December 22 - January 19)
Nothing like covert, anonymous, rough sex with a stranger in a strange place, eh, Capricorn? Look back into the sexual past of your Capricorn lover and you will see many mysterious paths. This is someone who is ravenously turned on by the idea of getting caught with their pants down, as scary as it might be. They love the thrill and they love knowing it’s dangerous.
AQUARIUS (January 20 - February 18)
You’re so used to losing that your fantasy is all about finally getting what you want. Oh, joy. You can’t get off unless you’re imagining that you’re the hero, and you’re so stuck on your past failures that the only thing that kinks you out is the idea of sex that is actually with someone. Good luck, Aquarius; see you when you grow up.
PISCES (February 19 - March 20)
You are that person with the underwear fetish. Depending on your date of birth, your undie obsession might be about full-on black vinyl suffocation and asphyxiation wear, or cut out bras and edible panties made from Acai berries and Angel Feathers, or, as we also call it, seaweed. (Pisces, the fish, likes seaweed).
Another kink fantasy for Pisces: being body painted. The idea of the cool paint caressing their vulnerable skin not only turns them on. It makes them want it done to them with a crowd watching on. Sex bomb!
Ruby Miranda is a New Yorker who learned astrology, I Ching and all types of cartomancy and numerology from her crazy, gypsy mother. She currently writes for a wide range of esoteric publications.