38 Secrets To A Happy Relationship

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Happy Relationship
Everyone from actors to authors to anchors share with us their secrets to a fulfilling love life.

Falling in love? That's the easy part.

But once the honeymoon dust settles, how do you nurture a loving and lasting relationship? What's the glue that holds it all together?

From New York to Los Angeles and towns in between, YourTango set out to discover that answer by asking, "What's the best love advice you ever heard?" Here, you'll learn the marriage mantra Kyra Sedgwick shared with Angie Harmon, why actor Eric Dane considers himself so lucky in love, and much more. 

And don't be shy ... add your own "best love advice" in the comments! 

Actress And Comedian Mindy Kaling: My mom always used to say, "You can't say I love you before you can say I." And I think that sort of makes sense.

Fox Sports Reporter Erin Andrews: From my mom and dad, because they're happily married for a long time: Just listen. Listen to him. I'm so independent and driven and stubborn. Just let him talk. It's about not being so stubborn and having to win every argument. My parents set a great example. They love each other and take care of each other so much.

Singer Jessie James: It's kind of cheesy, but my mama, who you all have seen on the show, says to cook for your man. She's Southern, so when he comes home, be pullin' a pie out of the oven. That's always been her advice, and you know what? It works. Your man wants to see you in the kitchen, puttin' some love into some food; it works for Eric, that's for sure.

Actress Candace Cameron Bure: The best advice I've ever been given is being handed a Bible. That's the blueprint for marriage that we go by, and that's what our marriage is grounded in. We also have other married couples who are examples in our lives. My parents have been married over 40 years, and both sets of grandparents for over 65 years. When you see couples in long-term relationships and you see them go through good times and bad times, you realize it's about being committed enough and loving your partner enough to hang in there regardless.

HGTV's Anthony Carrino: My mom told me, "It shouldn't be that difficult." My parents had their moments for sure, but the majority of their relationship has been really great. It shouldn't be that much work to make love work.

HGTV's John Colaneri: Always be honest.

The Real Housewives of Orange County's Lydia McLaughlin: Love is a decision, not just an emotion. It is selfless, and a commitment. 

TV Personality Giuliana Rancic: You've got to be good to each other … it really comes back to respect. I was raised in a very Catholic, Italian family and it was all about respect. Don't talk badly about [your partner] the second they walk out the door; really preserve your relationship and be good to each other. Treat it like gold.

Actor Joe Manganiello: The best love advice I've ever received is probably, 'I'm not leaving the relationship; I'm just leaving the house.'

TV Personality Andy Cohen: Just go with your gut and communicate.

Actress Alyson Hannigan: Don't ever spend more than three weeks apart. Two and a half weeks, maybe three, was the longest we ever did.

TV Host & Actress Vanessa Lachey: Don't lie to your partner. Ultimately the expression on your face gives you away, and they feel betrayed by the lie. If this is the person you're going to be with—forever and ever, for better or worse—they will love you for all of your good and all of your bad. They'll love you for you. So open communication is key. I have no secrets and no skeletons in my closet with my husband, and I love that. I feel comfortable and at ease with myself when I'm around him. I love the woman that I've become with him.

Burlesque Dancer Dita Von Teese: I think the best love advice I've ever received is really about understanding that communication is key, of course, but also that there's not one perfect person for you. You kind of have to accept what are the things that are negotiable for you and what are not.

NFL Player Victor Cruz: Take your time. Love is gonna come. Don't force it. Don't try to make it happen. Relax, take your time, and you'll know when it's there. My mom gave me that advice.

Socialite Paris Hilton[My mom told me] to always be loyal and treat someone how you want to be treated. Find someone that you can love and that's going to be your best friend.

30 Rock's Katrina Bowden: My mom always told me, "Whatever happens, will happen" or 'Whatever is supposed to happen, will happen." I've learned you'll know when you find the right person. When I found the right person, I knew it immediately.

The Hills' Kristin Cavallari: Someone gave me the Love Languages book, and that has been the best book I've ever read about relationships and has helped me the most.

The Five Love Languages Author Dr. Gary Chapman: Before I discovered the concept of the 5 love languages, a bit of advice I was given was to become a student of my wife and to take time to learn what makes her feel loved. I soon learned that what makes her feel loved may not always be the thing I want to do because it may not come natural to me. But learning to love her in the way that makes her feel loved is a greater demonstration of my love for her, because I've chosen to do it with a goal of pleasing her.

Kim Kardashian's BFF Jonathan Cheban: Pay attention to the girl, instead of myself. A bunch of people [told me that]. It's terrible. I'm very into myself, so people are always like, "Pay attention to the other person. Don't ever separate yourself." It's a good lesson. I'm learning. I'm doing good.

TV Personality Kelly Ripa: Don't get divorced after your first argument! I have a lot of friends that have one fight and that's it, they get divorced. I go, 'Wait a minute! Oh my gosh, you guys! Calm down! You'll forget in three days what you were fighting about. I promise. So just let it marinate a little bit—that's my best love advice.

The Real Housewives of Miami's Adriana de Moura: When I was about 15, [my grandmother] said something I will always remember: 'Love comes before money.' I will never let anything like greed come between us when it comes to love. She was married to my grandfather for 70 years. It's very hard to have a long-term relationship and if you're not sure, it's not going to last. Make sure that you truly love.

Actor & Host Mario Lopez: Treat a woman how you'd want someone to treat your mom.

The Bachelorette's Desiree Hartsock: I think it's trying to see through the other's eyes and allowing yourself to be selfless. I think that's when you have a balanced give-and-take to keep a good foundation.

Olympic Gold Medal Winner Gabby Douglas: Don't be shy. Go for it and ask your crush out.

American Idol and Glee's Jessica Sanchez: Have fun. Especially while you're still young, you gotta keep the spark up. Even when things get boring, just remember to have fun.

Pretty Little Liars' Sasha Pieterse: If you're looking for love, focus on something you love to do and work hard. Love will find you. Basically, love yourself before you love anyone else. A lot of girls have such insecurities nowadays that you have to be comfortable with who you are before you can really have a good relationship with someone else.

Professional Volleyball Player Gabrielle Reece: Have a short memory and a lot of forgiveness. Especially us girls who don't forget a thing. Move on …

Fashion Designer Zac Posen: Love advice is like life advice, so there are so many elements of that. I think humor, patience, admiration are really important love elements. Love and respect. You have to respect the person that you're going to love, and you have to be confident in yourself and love yourself.

CNN's HLN News Anchor Robin Meade: "Think about how much you'd miss that if he were gone tomorrow." This is my senior producer's advice in my ear during our news show if I'm grumbling about my hubby, whether about his habit of leaving dirty clothes around, or the way he goes into la la land while I'm talking with him, or that he wakes me up being loud overnight. How true! Heaven forbid, but if something ever happens to our loved ones, oh how we'd long for them to be back, and their little aggravating habits would be something cherished.

On the other hand the best love advice I've ever given is: Gals, don't marry someone for their looks. Sooner or later we all age and start to droop. Don't marry someone for their position and don't marry someone for money. Money comes and goes, and since when is that love? Marry someone because they make you laugh. Humor is always sexy. Besides, it's awfully hard to get mad at someone while they're making you laugh.

The Real Housewives of New York's Heather Thomson: Well, it's one of the oldest. It really is paradoxical, but it's true: You just can't go to bed mad. You have to make up, because there's only one alternative, and that alternative is not being together. So, my husband and I always decide we might as well make up, whether we agree to disagree or not. We understand we are individuals and that together we're unbelievably powerful and that we have a family that is the most important thing, and that I wouldn't trade him for the world. So, love is about give and take, and love is about understanding that you're individuals and together as a couple, you're the strongest there ever is ifyou're in the right couple.

Sex Expert Emily Morse: Love yourself, open your heart which means doing the work on yourself first. Then love will follow.

Property Brothers' Drew Scott: Maya Angelou's quote: "I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel."

Property Brothers' Jonathan Scott: Never stop inspiring and surprising the person you love and allow them to do the same for you.

Actor Eric Dane: I was going to say, "It's work, relationships take work," but that makes it sound like relationships are hard, that they're work. Rebecca and I have always gotten along really well. We've always had a really strong connection. I'm the last guy that should be giving people advice on love, that's for sure. But I have a great marriage. I just got lucky, I guess.

Actress Angie Harmon: Kyra Sedgwick told me, "Keep your heart where your feet are" and that's incredibly difficult to do. It takes a lot of concentration. You've got to be conscientious of each other.

Actor Jesse Metcalfe: There's no perfect relationship. All relationships are work. If you put in the work, you'll reap the rewards.

Actress Cara Santana: "It's much better to understand than to be understood," from my mom.

Actor Dennis Haskins: I lost my dad back in the fall, and my dad said something to me a long time ago. He said, "Are you happy with who you are now?" because we just had a real serious talk. And I said, "Yeah." He said, "Then you can't regret what got you to where you are. So whatever you do and whatever mistakes you make, learn from them and grow. And just always treat people with kindness," which I've tried to do.

 

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