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AuthorAbout Shana Parker
As a licensed psychologist and couples coach for over 30 years, I have been teaching the relationship skills that make love and intimacy between partners flourish! It is astounding to me that our culture does not teach relationship skills as part of our education. Over these 30 years I have defined the most essential skills and made them teachable so you can learn to express more of your love to each other in ways that allow your relationship to thrive.
I was trained as a psychologist and received my doctorate at Boston University where I studied with the leading experts of the day on empathy and empathy skills training. At a time when psychology focused on people being sick, I was always interested on the innate wisdom and health in all of us. As part of my post graduate studies I studied many modalities including Psychosynthesis: the bridge between psychology and spirituality, Gestalt and Bioenergetics, the trauma work of Peter Levine, EMDR and the Body Centered Work of Ron Kurtz called Hakomi. Seeing how the mind and the body are interconnected parts that cannot be separated I joined forces with 4 colleagues (medical doctor, naturopath and another psychologist) to start one of the first holistic Health Centers in the Country: New England Family Health Center in Boston in 1982.
Here my work with couples began as I supported my clients to uncover the patterns they had brought from childhood into their relationships. From there they could begin to see the reasons they had formed these patterns and discover why and how these patterns were now outdated. Once understood and accepted these patterns can be transformed by learning new skills to create nurturing and thriving relationships. Thriving relationships support couples and individuals in being more loving with each other and more connected to their deeper desires and life purpose. My work with couples, individuals and groups continued as I moved west and began the Psychosynthesis Center in Aspen, CO and then moved my practice to Boulder, CO.
Noticing that there were many couples whose sexual relationship was a source of distance and arguments, I spent 10 years studying and teaching the work of the leading experts in the field of sexuality and the dynamics of sexuality and sacred practices as applied to couples. Among these experts were Margot Anand, and David Deida. I taught in the Department of Transpersonal Psychology at the Naropa University. I have been leading workshops in couples skills, psychosynthesis, sacred sexuality, and working with couples and individuals for over 30 years. I have written 2 books on couples skills (Couples Guidebook and Embracing Our Desire: A map for women on getting to yes sexually). I have also written A Guide Speaks to Couples about ancient sexual wisdom. I published a book for parents called Fearless Nest: Our children as our greatest teachers: a compilation of 22 women speaking about how they were challenged to grow through parenting.
I live with my husband Doug in Boulder, CO. We have a great relationship and we are committed to keep it deepening, growing, and to going through all the hard places to get back to our hearts when we hit the rough patches. I parented a terminally ill child Dove for 8 years. I often say this experience was a true initiation into the feminine. I have a fabulous 23- year- old daughter who has been of my greatest teachers.
Even amidst all the turmoil on the planet I see hope in the fact that so many people are waking up to the fact that we are one family and we need to learn how to treat each other with love and respect – starting at home. I love my extended family, my community of friends, and my shaggy toy poodle. Some of my favorite things are going on adventures with my husband where we often camp and raft rivers in many parts of the country; laughing on the phone with my daughter; reading and studying mystics and non-dual teachers; almond lattes (heavy on the almond); and supporting couples!
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