5 Ways Your Body (Yes, BODY) Can Tell You If He's 'The One' Or Not

Have you found yourself dating someone new and thinking — this guy is really different!

Then a few months later, you realize that the relationship is starting to feel like the last one and the one before that?

You begin asking yourself in despair, “How can I ever trust myself to pick the right person?” Guess what, your body likely knew before you did. You just didn't know how to read what you were feeling.

Ask yourself these five questions to find out what your bodily sensations are trying to tell you:

1. Does your body feel warm, and open, or do you have a sinking feeling when you're around this person?

Think of a time you had a good feeling being with someone on a date. Remember how it felt in your body? Maybe warm or open in your heart? Or spacious in your chest like taking a nice deep relaxed breath.

Now remember a disappointing time. You might have ignored it but you can probably remember it now. Where were you? Did you have that sinking feeling in your chest even for a moment? It might have been just a flash of awareness when he walked ahead of you to take a call. Or it might have been when, after 30 minutes, he was still talking about himself. Or when he picked you up for the date he wasn’t friendly to your dog or your room-mate.

My favorite is the guy who would come over for dinner and then fall asleep on the floor in front of my fire- place. I would have this clenching in my stomach. I ignored it for too long.

2. When you have sex, do you feel like your body is expanding, or closing down?

Sex can be like a snapshot of a relationship. Are you expanding and opening or are you shutting down and closing? Sometimes if you are closing its because you are just not sexually attracted to him. Sometimes if you are closing its because you need something from him in order to open. Ask yourself if you need to feel safer or more cared about or if you need him to express interest in what turns you on.

3. Are you remembering the bodily feelings you were having later?

After your date, when you are home alone in the safety of your own space go over the experience in your mind and body. Take out a journal or a tablet and write a list of different moments during the date. Now tune in to the bodily felt sensations and write those down next to the moments you have described.

4. Are you ignoring what your body is trying to tell you?

Write down what you tell yourself that convinces you not to listen to your body. There are as many reasons as there are patterns of self- betrayal. Do any of these reasons sound familiar? I’m too sensitive. I should try harder. I shouldn’t be so demanding or so high maintenance. If I tell him the truth he won’t like me. This is all I deserve. This is as good as it gets.

5. Share the feelings you're having with him, openly.

I am not suggesting that if you discover some contracted or difficult feelings in your body that you just walk away and disappear into the night. This is such a pivotal opportunity to discover if he cares about you and if has the capacity to work through something that might be uncomfortable.

5 Ways Your Body (Yes, BODY) Can Tell You If He's 'The One' Or Not

Yes, your body already knows, even if your brain doesn't.

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