How My Horrible Sexual Encounter Made Me Never Want Another One-Night Stand

I can't even count how many tequila shots I did.

By Unwritten — Written on Sep 15, 2022

Photo: Pixel-Shot / Shutterstock

By Skylar Jones

It was a beautiful, hot summer day, and my girlfriends and I thought it would be a great idea to have some drinks in my backyard and soak up some sun, blast music, and dance like idiots.

But as the day went on, we spontaneously decided it would be an even better idea to go downtown to Toronto.

After a few drinks in the sun, we were a bit dizzy, so we thought it was time to stumble into our summer dresses and head to the train station.

We arrived in Toronto and headed straight to a patio (typical). Of course, we enjoyed a few more drinks and thought an even better idea would be to head to the strip club — the women’s strip club.

Now that was blurry, but I remember being in there for a few hours just having the time of my life with my girlfriends because it was so out of the blue and unlike us. And to be quite honest, we had no idea it would be open on a Tuesday...

So after that, we headed back outside and wandered the streets and made some friends. It wasn’t until we literally stumbled into a band playing, with a pretty large audience, did we really start to have some fun.

We mingled with everyone around us, and I met him. At the time he seemed pretty good-looking; I was drunk, he was nice, so naturally, the girls and I invited the “friends” we made to a bar and we all had a few more drinks.

Needless to say, about 10 minutes later I ran to the washroom and was throwing up. I can't even count how many tequila shots I did.

I also have no idea how I was able to (somewhat) walk and hold a conversation. So I cleaned up my mouth, threw a piece of gum in and continued on, as all us ladies do.

It is obvious at this point that I have had a fair amount to drink and apparently having such a stimulating conversation, that I agreed to go “home” with this guy. And to this day I can’t even remember his name... awkward.

A bit wild on my part, but I had just gotten out of a relationship and I was out with the girls, so I thought, what better time, right?

Anyway, I pulled my girlfriends aside and let them know I will be leaving with him. They were a bit worried at first, but I had my phone nearby and told them I would call or shoot them a text if I had a bad feeling.

So I hopped in his car, and little did I know he lived about 30 miles or so. I was clearly not thinking.

I briefly remember going to a bar that his friend owned; I ordered so much food you would’ve thought I was Buddy the Elf. We didn’t stay there too long though, and we left in about an hour and went to what I thought was his house, but was actually his parents.

So uncomfortable. I was actually told to be “quiet” walking in the door since his parents were sleeping. Keep in mind this guy is 28 years old and I was completely under the impression he lived alone.

Regardless, we get up to his room and I decided to use his washroom. I looked down and remembered. Oh my god. I hadn't shaved anything in so long.

I had gotten out of a relationship a month or two before, so I forgot what it was like to be always prepared and ready! I drunkenly decided it would be best to start the shower, hop in and start shaving. My legs, my underarms, my everything...

He actually ended up coming into the washroom and asked what I was doing. I was so drunk and not even thinking, that I popped out of the shower and literally told him what I was doing.

And he still wanted me. Weirdo, for sure.

I step out of the washroom and walk to his bedroom. At this point, I am just exhausted (from all that shaving) and so thankful to see a bed. But as I lay down and turn to my side, he comes close to me and spoons me.

Of course, I felt something hard against my back and I guess I was kind of turned on. He started kissing my neck and one thing led to another. I remember it being quick because I managed to stay awake for it.

It was nothing special, nothing to brag about, just a simple(ish) one-night stand.

The next morning I woke up to all these juvenile posters, mainly of half-naked girls and some superheroes, and just thought for a second, where the hell am I? Reality sunk in and I really beat myself up.

What was I doing at a complete stranger’s place? It was messy and dirty and just all around not like me. I got up and went to the washroom. By the time I got back, whoever “he” was, was up.

I kid you not, I have made some mistakes in my life, but this guy was an unfortunate-looking one. He wasn’t absolutely brutal, I am being a little dramatic, but I was just appalled that I set my standards that low.