22-Year-Old Woman Asks If She's Wrong For How She Responded To A Love Letter From Her 43-Year-Old Co-Worker

Almost a third of women have been stalked by someone at some point in their lives — whether it was an ex-partner, a stranger, or even a co-worker from their job. It’s why so many women are forced to live in fear, in addition to a million other stressors in the world. 

Their safety is jeopardized simply because of their gender — regardless of how they look, what they’re wearing, how they act, or where they’re going. Even when they “reject” someone, they’re forced to live in fear of the repercussions. 

So, when stories like this Reddit woman’s surface, it’s hard not to immediately think the worst, which is exactly what commenters under the post emphasized. 

“I (22F) received a love letter from my co-worker (43M)," the anonymous woman wrote. "Some have said that I was out of line and overreacted…others agree with how I handled the situation.” 

The 22-year-old woman wondered if she was wrong for how she responded to her 43-year-old coworker’s ‘love letter.' 

“Just a little background: I have worked at this company for three years, and he has worked there for almost a year," she explained. "I have only had about five conversations with him that have only lasted around 5-10 minutes each pertaining to work-related things only and never about our personal lives."

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Despite some attempts at expressing his interest — including voicing his desire “to hang out” outside of work — she’d never entertained what seemed to be a crush from her older coworker. 

“He also had gone to a couple [of] other co-workers that know me from outside of work and had pressed them for any personal information about me to give to him (They did all decline),” she wrote.

During this time, she made it clear that she wasn’t interested, never engaging in personal conversation and being bluntly professional. However, she was, unfortunately, forced to engage after receiving an unsettling “love letter” from him — one that made her not only feel uncomfortable but slightly unsafe at work. 

Photo from Reddit

After reading the ‘love letter,’ she immediately texted him, letting him know she was ‘extremely uncomfortable’ and wanted to ‘limit’ their interactions. 

The letter is several paragraphs long, explaining a story about having a crush on an old co-worker and how he “transformed” into a different, more enthusiastic, and sociable person when given “the opportunity” to spend more time with someone. 

“This isn’t to say I’m expecting you to develop romantic feelings for me,” he wrote. “I can see you don’t have any, and that’s fine. But we don’t get to talk more than a few minutes a week right now … without a lot of people around, I think you would have a good time.” 

Not only is the letter strange — as he tried to urge his young co-worker to spend time with him alone — but he also almost completely disregarded her dismissal of him in the past. “There’s a lot to like about me that you don’t know,” he added. “Even if nothing changes for you, I’d like to be given the chance.” 

After reading the letter, she sent him a message expressing her extreme discomfort, adding, "I think we should limit any and all interactions that we do have for the time being."

Photo from Reddit

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To that, he responded, "I'm sorry. I did have my therapist approve it first, but different people are different. I wish you well."

Commenters suggested this woman was completely valid in her discomfort — urging her to contact HR and be vigilant about her safety.

In the comments, the woman said she immediately contacted HR, who talked to her co-worker. However, he has still been inappropriately discussing her and his letter with their co-workers. 

“Follow up and let them know what he’s doing and that you are still feeling very uncomfortable about the situation,” one commenter suggested. “He’s twice your age, for [expletive] sake. That he was [phishing] for your personal info is bad enough … he could be a stalker.” 

In addition to keeping a “written record” of any uncomfortable interactions or rumors, many others suggested completely cutting off contact with this co-worker — especially with the stalker tendencies this woman has already pointed out.

Experts suggest cutting off contact completely with people displaying these “stalker-like tendencies” to ensure that the cycle of behavior doesn’t continue. “Whether it’s positive or negative contact,” women’s safety expert @everydayarmor said on TikTok, “a lot of times they see that as reinforcement.” 

Especially in tandem with the original note, commenters pointed out many red flags—from the age gap and the unprofessional interactions to the continuous talking about his “crush” to other people at their workplace. “This sounds like the start of an obsession,” one person wrote under the post. 

It's not this woman's responsibility to make her co-worker feel comfortable — she should look out for her own safety without any guilt. 

RELATED: How The 'Office Goggles' Phenomenon Causes People To Fall In Love With Their Co-Workers

Zayda Slabbekoorn is a News & Entertainment Writer at YourTango who focuses on health & wellness, social policy, and human interest stories.