Woman Refuses To Participate In Office Secret Santa After Years Of Bad Gifts — 'The More I Put In, The Less I Receive'
It’s a tradition she loathes each year.
Harbucks / Shutterstock It's the time of year when offices around the world inevitably implement a Secret Santa in an attempt to make working until Christmas less irritating and more festive.
You pick a random name from a bowl and probably get stuck picking a present for a co-worker you hardly know, let alone know enough to get a good gift for. You have to balance the professional and personal, and then there's the money — you don't want to look cheap or like you're trying to "out-gift" the other employees.
Some take this opportunity to spread holiday cheer and bond with their coworkers, choosing a gift they know they will enjoy. But others wait until the last second, regifting the unwanted crap that they wouldn't dare give their friends or family.
One woman was dedicated to her office's gift exchange and put tons of effort into finding the perfect gift within her company's Secret Santa rules. But year after year, she found herself disappointed after unwrapping the "bad gifts" she received from her coworkers.
After receiving one too many bad gifts, this employee decided to stop participating in her office’s Secret Santa gift exchange.
This year she decided she was done and took to Reddit to ask for advice, wondering if she was in the wrong for refusing to participate in the gift exchange at her work.
“I love gifting. Even if I have no idea about the coworker I was assigned, I find out more to ensure they love what they have been given,” the Reddit poster boasted. “However, this is never reciprocated to me.”
She recalled some of the gifts she has received from coworkers in the past — men’s wallets, plushies, and a variety of other “clearly re-gifted” items. Not only were the gifts impersonal, but they were clearly last-minute picks and void of the same effort she put into her gifts.
While she spent tons of time and effort on crafting the perfect Secret Santa gift, she said her co-workers always miss the mark.
“This is a complete ‘luck thing,’ as other people receive good gifts, too,” she added.
But no matter how much effort she put in, she always seemed to get gifts from people who didn't value the exchange or put the same amount of effort into the gifts. She stressed that the rules of the Secret Santa at her work included a price limit — but the bad gifts she’s received are usually not due to the price tag. Instead, she got a bunch of gifts that had no real connection to her and felt misguided and useless.
“It’s become a running joke within my close circle,” she said, “that the more effort I put in, the less I receive.”
Frustrated after years of “bad gifts,” this Reddit poster decided she had enough. This year, she turned down the invitation to join the office Secret Santa — a choice that she made despite loving gift-giving for others.
“Everyone is guilt-tripping me and calling me a poor sport for ruining the festive mood. A few have even approached me jokingly saying they hoped I’d be their Secret Santa.” Feeling the guilt from her coworkers, she wondered if she was in the wrong for “protecting her peace” this holiday season — and saving her heartfelt gift-giving measures for people who actually appreciate and reciprocate it.
Many comments agreed that this person is not in the wrong for choosing not to participate. One commenter wrote, “If they want you to participate, they can all agree to put a little more effort into their presents, not only for you but for everybody.”
Secret Santa horror stories are not uncommon, and many creators on TikTok shared theirs.
While the holiday season is about a lot more than just gift-giving, creators on social media are quick to tell stories about their gift “horror stories” — especially in exchanges that happen at work.
One creator, Ama Abrafi, shared an interesting gift that she got from a coworker while in a Secret Santa gift exchange — trash bags full of empty cans.
She admitted there was an element of effort and personalization put into this gift, which is more than the Redditor above can say. “I’m a huge advocate for recycling,” she said, “and it’s become kind of ‘a thing’ in the office.” Her “Secret Santa” in the office gave her empty cans as a play on the joke that she’s an avid recycler and often takes cans from her coworkers' homes.
“Everyone thought it was funny. I kind of laughed… I guess,” she admitted.
Another creator, @mz.barnes1973 on TikTok, recalled a gift exchange from a previous holiday when she was gifted a “used perfume” that still “had the dust on it.”
Despite her office Secret Santa having a required price window, her gift giver had no qualms about regifting a cheap product that had already been used.
“Follow the rules or don’t play — it’s that simple," she urged viewers.
While the holidays are not, and should not be, about gifts, these Secret Santa stories serve as a thoughtful reminder about gift-giving etiquette this holiday season. Nobody wants a clearly regifted and thoughtless present, not even your coworkers.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a news and entertainment writer at YourTango focusing on pop culture analysis and human interest stories.