If A Woman Displays These 5 Subtle Behaviors, She Has Really Bad Energy
These behaviors reveal a woman whose presence brings more negativity than peace.
Dewald Nel | Unsplash Though you've now been told for about the 37th time that "It's not you, it's me," we're thinking it's time to consider the fact that it might, in fact, be you. And no, we're not insinuating that he broke up with you because of the way your hair frizzes up in the summer, or because you're always leaving Cheez-its crumbs in the bed, or even because you texted his mom by accident.
No. What's really weighing you down and messing up your love life, is all your bad energy. The following habits create an undercurrent of bad vibes that others pick up on quickly, often leaving relationships strained and connections harder to maintain.
If a woman displays these 5 subtle behaviors, she has really bad energy:
1. She projects her insecurities
Women with bad energy can oftentimes be riddled with self-doubt. What makes this self-doubt even worse is that, as you see the worst in yourself, you also begin assuming the same of others.
If, for example, you're on a first date and feeling wary and quick to judge, you might automatically assume that your date is judging you just as harshly. This, in turn, could make you defensive. Way to kill the buzz before you've even shared your first toast, right?
If you're experiencing negative feelings about the person you're with, ask yourself where these feelings are coming from. Could it be that you're making unfounded assumptions?
2. She's paranoid
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We don't blame you for being a bit suspicious about infidelity, especially if you've been burned in the past. But for a relationship to work, you have to trust each other.
If you don't fully trust him — or even if you do and are just being cautious — your paranoia can manifest itself in some extremely unattractive ways: clinginess, neediness, and breaches in privacy. (No, we don't condone e-snooping of any kind.)
No man (or woman, for that matter) wants to feel as if he's under constant surveillance, especially if he did absolutely nothing to betray your trust. So keep your suspicions in check, unless he's done something actually worth worrying about.
Vulnerability and genuine connection are central to intimacy, but a person with paranoid tendencies is often reluctant to confide in their partner out of fear that the information will be used against them. A 2017 study concluded that this creates significant emotional distance.
3. She compares him to past partners
This goes beyond simple paranoia. It's more subtle and insidious. If you see him smile in a certain way or utter a certain phrase, and you immediately think of your abusive ex-boyfriend or that immature idiot you rebounded with or that unfortunate one-night stand, you're letting your past drag you unnecessarily down.
Do you consistently find yourself souring on new dating prospects simply because of unfortunate similarities? It's important to remind yourself that he is not your ex. Try thinking, instead, of all the amazing qualities he has that your ex most certainly did not.
Constantly comparing a partner to a previous flame creates an impossible standard. This can be particularly damaging if a woman idealizes her ex or fixates on his best qualities. A 2020 study argued that the new partner is unfairly measured against a benchmark that is likely distorted by nostalgia, leading to feelings of frustration and disappointment.
4. She hides things from her partner
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We've written in the past about the secrets healthy couples shouldn't keep. This is because, to fully commit to each other, you should also know each other pretty darn well.
Holding back on emotions or reliving painful events from the past in ways that affect your present can keep a relationship stagnant.
So ask yourself: what have you been keeping from him, and why? Chances are, he can tell you're hiding something, and we're sure he'd rather hear about it than be stonewalled.
Studies have consistently shown that secrecy is a strong indicator of relationship distress and declining health for both partners. A partner who is hiding things is experiencing significant internal conflict that erodes trust, intimacy, and communication.
5. She won't fully commit
So, commitment-phobes are everywhere, and some of them aren't carrying an ounce of baggage. But in many cases, the fear of tying oneself down can be indicative of a deeper problem. If you're not giving any of your relationships half a chance, it's time to do some soul-searching.
There's nothing wrong with being single, but is it what you really want? And if it's not, what's making you hesitate when you come across the possibility of love? If all else fails, consider talking to a therapist or a love/dating coach about burning that persnickety baggage.
In the end, it all comes down to trust. Want to leave that bad energy behind? Allow yourself to trust again.
Steph Auteri is a freelance writer and editor. She's been featured in Playgirl, Time Out New York, American Curves, New York Press, Nerve, and other publications.
