Woman Feels 'Deeply Hurt' That Her Wealthy Best Friend Refused To Lend Her $5 — 'When She Was In My Shoes I Did Everything I Could To Help Her Out'
Best friends should be there for each other in times of need.
Pheelings media / Shutterstock Asking friends to borrow money can be precarious, but sometimes people find themselves in a difficult financial position, and asking for help is all they can do.
A woman was shocked by the way her best friend treated her when she asked to borrow only $5, especially considering how she had been there for her in the past.
The woman took to Reddit to express her distress after her wealthy best friend said she didn’t have $5 to lend her.
In the AITA post, the woman explained that she and her best friend had been friends for about seven years. When they first met, the woman said her friend was in a rough place financially.
One day, the friend’s car broke down and she had no way of getting to work. Understanding the stress of the situation, the woman offered to let her friend use her car, and she never asked her to pay for gas. “At the time, I was financially secure and was happy to help her out,” the woman wrote.
Some years later, the woman explained she began experiencing some financial troubles herself, living paycheck to paycheck.
Meanwhile, her friend had met a guy online and they started dating. A few months in, he revealed to her he was a millionaire and they soon married.
“Suffice [it] to say, she has not had to struggle since,” the woman said.
The woman admitted that she had reached out to her friend a few times and asked to borrow money, but she has made sure to pay her back each time. “It's usually not much, less than $25 or so each time, and she would always oblige with no problems until recently,” the woman explained.
The woman’s friend suddenly claimed she didn’t have any more money to lend her.
The woman said she found it odd that her friend was suddenly opposed to helping her when she could not even spare $5.
She added how her friend’s brothers and friends had recently begun taking advantage of her new husband’s wealth, asking for money (without paying her back) and costing her large sums of bail-out money. Now that she was well-off, it seemed that all of her loved ones took it upon themselves to abuse her wealth.
While this experience is unfortunate, and the friend is right to draw boundaries with her inconsiderate peers, it’s not exactly fair to blame the woman for something she was not participating in, especially when she was there for her when she herself was struggling.
While the woman asked to borrow money at several points, she mindfully paid her friend back each time. She wasn’t trying to take advantage of her friend like the others — she was simply asking her for help during a time of need, which the friend should have been aware of.
The woman was so confused by her friend’s behavior that she wondered if she still owed her some money and happened to forget, so she asked her directly.
The friend assured her she didn’t owe her, so the woman expressed her fear that she could no longer come for help if she needed to.
“She replied and said that just like her brothers, I needed to learn how to budget my money better and that she can't be the one to bail everyone out,” the woman wrote. “She said when she was struggling, she had to work multiple jobs and did what she had to do.”
While the friend’s advice was sound, she seemed to forget how the woman was there for her in the past, no questions asked.
Additionally, the friend doesn’t seem to realize that the only reason why she has so much wealth now is because she married into it, not because she earned it.
However, it can get frustrating to constantly lend others money, especially when you have suffered financially before. But while the friend’s brothers and peers have abused her wealth, her best friend has made sure to pay her back every dime.
Budgeting can certainly help improve an individual's finances, but everyone experiences rough patches at some point in their lives, and one of the only ways they can slowly get back on their feet is through their support systems. Without one, the process of regaining control of your finances can be much more challenging.
In the friend’s case, she found a wealthy partner to provide a support system, but before she had him, she knew she could rely on her best friend.
Sadly, now she is turning her back on her due to other people in her life using her for her husband’s wealth. While she isn’t obligated to help anyone with anything, it’s not only selfish but inconsiderate for her to refuse to be there for the woman now that she is in a better place, despite everything the woman did to help her get there.
“It was not fair for her to lump me in with her brothers as I have never done anything to take advantage of her,” the woman expressed. “I never would have said something like that to her when I let her borrow my car & anytime she would ask me to borrow money when she was struggling.”
Reddit users argued the friend is being insincere and influenced by her rich husband.
“This girl didn't exactly pull herself out of the financial difficulties either, she just married someone rich,” a Reddit user pointed out. “Hopefully, she has a long, happy marriage and/or a fair prenup. [Because] she's burning a few bridges with this attitude.”
Other Reddit users speculated that the friend’s sudden change of heart toward her best friend may be stemming from the rich husband. Many additionally pointed out that wealth changes people.
“There is a pretty strong chance that he is financially controlling (abusing) her, and she doesn't actually have cash,” someone mentioned. “She may have to account for every single dollar and may not have any financial freedom at this point,” another person theorized.
A true friend should not be stingy with their money, especially with a loyal friend who has always been there for you.
“I wouldn't be much of a friend if I couldn't lend $5 that I have to someone who has always paid it back,” one person shared. “I would never expect anyone to repay a $5 loan in the first place. Unreal,” another person replied in the thread.
Sadly, money can damage relationships.
Some people are more generous with their money when it comes to helping a loved one in need. Others, however, tend to be a bit more stingy. Needless to say, money can tear relationships apart if there is a lack of mutual communication and understanding.
It seems unfair that the friend was offering financial advice when she experienced financial challenges herself, as many of us do. The woman does not appear to be taking advantage of her friend through her dedication to pay her back, in addition to the small amounts of money she is asking for.
“I understand that I am not entitled to anyone's money, borrowed or not, but when she was in my shoes, I did everything I could to help her out,” the woman stated. “I could understand if I had asked to borrow a large amount of money, but I literally asked for $5.”
It seems the friend's husband has changed her perception of money, and she is hiding information about how much of his money she actually has access to.
It likely has less to do with the money and more with the principle of lending money, but she is in for a rude awakening if she ever finds herself in a time of need again.
Francesca Duarte is a writer on YourTango's news and entertainment team based in Orlando, FL. She covers lifestyle, human interest, adventure, and spirituality topics.