Woman Creates 'Divorce Registry' To Get Things She Lost After Splitting From Her Partner
Getting back on your feet after a divorce can be difficult.
Caterina Trimarchi | Shutterstock When most people think of divorce, they think of the emotional trauma that goes along with it. But there's more than just heartache when it comes to a marriage ending. In fact, for partners with years together under their belts, the loss could be material and financial, as well. Divorcée Becca Murray understands this all too well. After her divorce, she was left without most of the things a newly married couple would fill a house with. That's exactly why she decided to create a divorce registry.
Sure, registries are traditionally used as a way to shower loved ones with gifts during times of celebration, but why can't they be used when a loved one needs help starting over? If friends and family are offering support, it makes sense to provide them with an easy way to lend a helping hand through a registry of items that were lost during the split.
A woman created a 'divorce registry' to get things she lost after her marriage ended.
When we think of registries, we think of things needed for a wedding, having a baby, and even going off to college. But Murray decided that there was no reason not to do it for a divorce, either. In a TikTok video, she acknowledged that she'd received a lot of hate and criticism for initially sharing her divorce registry on her social media.
"I don't really wanna dignify those messages with direct responses," she said. "I do want to just be clear that the existence of the divorce registry does not mean that you have to give to the divorce registry. There is zero expectation."
Murray explained that over the course of the three months after splitting from her partner, she had many people in her life asking how they could support her and if they could replace anything that might've been lost in the divorce process. Murray admitted that she had never been good at accepting help from others, let alone asking for things. She also just didn't know what she needed.
Every day, the woman discovered new things that had been lost following her divorce.
"The majority of the people who are donating are folks who have been through this before and understand that reality," she continued. "[They] understand how difficult it is to deal with the logistical part of all the actual physical things that you lost."
Anastasia Shuraeva | Pexels
Studies have shown that the level of depressive symptoms experienced by divorced women was very high immediately after the split. Sometimes, the best thing you can do to help someone going through the difficult process of divorce is to replace some of the things that might've gotten lost in the process.
Think of all the things in your house that make it a home. The picture frames and knick-knacks might not seem meaningful, but the moment you're surrounded by an empty apartment without the color and joy of a lifetime of memories, the reality of loss becomes all the more profound. Sure, they are just things, but when the worn-in afghan that you snuggled under during movies, and even the set of wooden spoons that helped cook years of meals for a family, are suddenly gone, having loved ones gift the opportunity for new memories by replacing them can mean the world.
It's all part of community, and showing up for each other in the best way that we can. "I am so grateful to everyone who has supported in any way; it has meant so much," Murray said. "Having a space where I can get excited about the changes and the new things that I'm bringing into my life has been incredibly helpful."
A fresh start isn't easy, no matter what stage of life you're in. No one should ever be criticized for asking for a helping hand, whether it's at the start of a marriage or the end of one.
Nia Tipton is a staff writer with a bachelor's degree in creative writing and journalism who covers news and lifestyle topics that focus on psychology, relationships, and the human experience.
