Woman Called 'Petty' For Asking Friend Who Always Says 'I'll Get You Next Time' To Actually Pay Her Back
What do you do if a friend never actually "gets you back next time?"
Estrada Anton / Shutterstock Most of the time, you wouldn't think twice about going the extra mile for a friend. Buying them a drink, paying for their movie ticket, or taking them to dinner. Often, this friend will offer to pay for the next outing or activity to settle the score.
However, some people just don't understand the concept of "I'll get you back next time." They'll let someone else pay for them every time, and one woman is questioning whether it was a bad choice to ask a friend who does this to finally pay her back.
A woman is wondering if she's in the wrong for asking her friend to pay her back.
In a Reddit post, a woman explained that she has a friend who never pays for her own share of things. She says, "I’ll cover her coffee, her share of gas, random snacks, and she’s always like, 'I’ll get you next time.' Except next time never comes."
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The woman said it's more about the principle than the actual money, and she sensed that the friend might be taking advantage of her. When she checked the running tally she kept of everything she had covered for her friend, it totaled about $68.
She tried to play it cool and sent a casual Venmo request to her friend for the $68 with a description that said "all the next times." The friend immediately responded, calling her petty and saying, "You really keep tabs on your friends?" Now, the friend is telling everyone that the woman "values money over friendship."
Most commenters sided with the woman, but some wondered if she was telling the full story.
Many agreed that the situation is unfair for the woman and that the friend's reaction is a problem. One user claimed, "She’s just embarrassed at having been called out is and is lashing back because of that."
Another user wrote, "Friendships are about mutual respect and honesty, not taking advantage of someone's goodwill. If she's chill with letting you foot the bill all the time, that ain't cool. She had to know this was gonna catch up to her eventually, right? Keepin tabs isn't petty if she's constantly dipping into your pocket. Don't let her guilt trip you. She owes you, and not just the money, but the respect too."
However, others were curious why the woman never attempted to set boundaries with the friend. One user asked, "I'm wondering if you had verbally asked her at any point for it back...OR did you allow her to pick it up any of the next times? If she said she would get you next time, why do you always keep paying, you could have just said 'you got it this time?'"
Lending money to friends or family has a tendency to strain your relationships with them.
Financially covering for someone is a kind gesture, but not everyone is so willing to return the favor. In fact, a survey commissioned by JG Wentworth found that over 75% of participants reported that they're no longer as close as they used to be with people they've lent money to.
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Financial educator Berna Anat told NPR that she never loans money; she only gifts it. She said, "If I'm giving money, I'm assuming it's a gift. It's not going to get paid back. So from my end, I know it's money I'm willing to lose."
Though it can be an uncomfortable conversation to have, it may be helpful to clearly state your expectations when covering for a friend or lending them money. It could be as simple as, "Hey, I don't mind getting your dinner tonight, but would you mind taking care of our movie tickets for next weekend?" This opens the door for communication and lets them be honest about their intentions.
Kayla Asbach is a writer currently working on her bachelor's degree at the University of Central Florida. She covers relationships, psychology, self-help, pop culture, and human interest topics.
