Man Called Selfish For Spending $11,000 On His Dog's Surgery Instead Of Helping Girlfriend's Family With Rent
Are everyone's expectations out of line? Or is he just a miser?
Matheus Bertelli | Pexels A man on Reddit is having relationship troubles because he chose to spend money on his beloved dog's surgery instead of helping his girlfriend's sister pay her rent. It's all a bit messy, but the crux of the issue is whether he has an obligation to his girlfriend's family, especially when it comes to his money.
If you've ever had a wealthy friend or family member whose attitude toward money tends toward the miserly, you know how annoying it can be when they won't just pony up some cash that could make a huge difference in someone's life. But just as often, we have unrealistic expectations of the moneyed people in our lives.
A man was called selfish for spending $11,000 on his dog's surgery instead of helping his girlfriend's sister pay rent.
Man Called Selfish For Paying For His Dog's Surgery Instead Of Helping Family With Rent
In his Reddit post, the man described a heartbreaking situation that many dog owners have been in: His elderly 9-year-old doggo suddenly lost the use of his back legs. "I had to get surgery for him because I was not getting him put down," he said.
Few of us in that position would choose otherwise if we had the resources to have a choice in the first place, and this guy is no different. "All in all it came to £8.5k [about $11,000], all of which I had to pay out of pocket for."
Thankfully, he had plenty of savings and is "well off" anyway, so he was able to afford such a large expenditure. But when his girlfriend found out about it, a war erupted in their household.
The man's girlfriend is furious that he didn't use the money to help her struggling sister.
"My girlfriend’s sister has been struggling with rent," he went on to explain. "Apparently she’s behind by a few months and panicking about being kicked out."
And when his girlfriend found out how much he'd dropped on his dog's surgery, she went ballistic. "She got really upset with me and said I was selfish," he wrote. "Her words were along the lines of, 'you’d spend eight grand on a dog but you won’t even help my sister keep a roof over her head?'"
Which is… a bit much. Was he supposed to put the dog down instead? If he had let the dog die, would we be having this conversation? It's a pretty wild leap to make. Nevertheless, she insisted he's "cheap and selfish" for his choice.
He sees it differently, of course. "I feel like I shouldn't have to suffer for another person's poor life choices," he wrote. Which seems reasonable. Financial advisor Cindy Scott pointed out that when considering a loan to family or friends, it's always important to take into consideration the borrower's "character and reputation." She said, "Think about who is asking you for a loan and why. If it's someone who you know has trouble managing their money, and you want to help them out, that's okay. Just be aware that they might not pay you back. If it's someone you're bailing out constantly, you may want to reconsider."
So not only are her poor financial choices a deterrent, but dogs are family members to many of us. This woman isn't even his family. If it were an actual person who needed surgery, this wouldn't even be a conversation.
People were firmly on his side and agreed that the sister's problems are not his responsibility.
The guy did reveal one other detail that slightly changes the picture: Part of why his girlfriend was so angry is because "I own a 4-bedroom home and my girlfriend suggested her sister moving in with us, but I refused."
As someone with an incredibly wealthy family member who was perfectly content to let me live on the street at one point, I can empathize with that anger somewhat. Perhaps this guy is a bit of a cheapskate, and it is difficult to swallow when someone you love is in trouble and you know a person who could solve their problem in one fell swoop but won't.
Nevertheless, this is absolutely not his problem. "The reason her sister is in this predicament is because her relationship fell apart and she's living in a place she can't afford," he added, which is perhaps a bit insensitive, but doesn't change the contours of the situation, or the insanity of his girlfriend's expectation that he let his dog die to make her sister's life easier.
People on Reddit were adamant he'd done nothing wrong. "You need to dump your girlfriend, who is determined to make her sister's poor choices your problem," one wrote. Another put a finer point on it: "Your girlfriend's sister has people who can help her with her money problems. Your dog has you." Yep, that pretty much sums it up.
John Sundholm is a writer, editor, and video personality with 20 years of experience in media and entertainment. He covers culture, mental health, and human interest topics.
