When You Feel Behind In Life, Please Remember This

Nothing will always be the same as the present because you'll never know what comes next in the future.

woman looking out window Zapylaiev Kostiantyn/ Shutterstock
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By Candice Zhang

Do you ever lay there at night staring at the ceiling, wondering why life has led you to this place?

In some moments, you’re filled with rage and regret. And in other moments, you’re filled with confusion.

You look back and notice there are times when you wish you moved further ahead. Times when you felt you were sinking into quicksand and moments when you felt you were drowning under the seas.

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In those moments, you tried to pull yourself up but found another wave crashing over you.

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But when you look back, you ask yourself why haven’t you swam faster? Why didn’t you avoid the waves in the first place?

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However, you will later realize it’s challenging to swim in treacherous waters without a lifejacket and a flutter board. When the others around you have boats, doughnuts, and floaties, you’re there only in your swimsuit crawling against the strong currents.

The point is everyone’s economic and social circumstances are different. Those with more resources often have an easier time achieving their goals. I know it sounds unfair, but in reality, society tends to give an upper hand to those in better social conditions.

I’ll give you an example. I was trying my best to advance in one of my jobs. I currently work as an after-school program coordinator, which took me five years to get. Throughout this job, I wanted to be an area coordinator, which is a position higher up the chain than a program coordinator.

However, I then realized that to become an area coordinator, I would have to have a car with insurance and be a fully-licensed driver.

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Suddenly, I realized how economically challenging that would be for me. Since I live on my own in one of the most expensive cities in Canada, getting a car would be a ridiculous expense. My wallet would be crying as I have to pay for a parking spot, buy insurance and gas, and register my vehicle.

After considering these factors, I realized I don’t have the economic resources to work toward the area coordinator position. It’s simply not the right time.

When you feel you’re behind in life, you may notice yourself in a similar position. You may notice your current conditions do not align with your goals, and your goal is becoming more and more mentally exhausting to reach.

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The reality is that it probably isn’t the best time to reach that goal yet. Sure, you may feel rushed to be at another place, but life is telling you that you’re meant for something else at the moment. And life is also perhaps telling you that you’re worth more than the initial position you were eyeing.

In the end, your achievements and goals must align with your circumstances.

When people say “someone was at the right place at the right time,” it means the person was simply in an ideal situation. And to be in an ideal situation, you need the resources for success.

If you’re not provided with such resources, achieving your goals becomes more difficult because you’re facing multiple barriers. And most times, it’s difficult to navigate these barriers without the correct resources in the first place.

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As a result, if you’re feeling behind in life, understand that what you’re facing isn’t what everyone else is facing. You perhaps have more to be responsible for and take care of, which eats up your time and money.

But when all seems lost, remember that there is a place better for you. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. These experiences will build your character for the future.

So don’t look at the past and feel like you’re behind. Instead, look ahead and see what potential doors you’re opening. Nothing will always be the same as the present because you’ll never know what comes next in the future.

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So focus on navigating the waters now. The rest will come later.

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Candice Zhang is a writer who focuses on relationships, health and wellness, and current events. Her work has been featured in GenTwenty, Her Campus, The Strand, and others.