8 Ways People With Deep Minds & High Standards Shut Down Disrespect Differently Than Average People
Halfpoint | Shutterstock Disrespect can damage even the closest friendships.
Constant criticism and rude comments can make someone feel insecure and even change how they see themselves. Even if someone is being disrespectful, people with high standards know not to stoop to their level. Some people know exactly how to shut down those kinds of friends without blowing up. They’ve developed deep minds that allow them to see that they should prioritize themselves, and they have certain ways to shut down disrespect more maturely than most people can.
People with deep minds and high standards shut down disrespect in 8 ways:
1. They refuse to explain themselves to disrespectful people
People with high standards don't change their beliefs for anyone. They're proud of who they are, and that helps them to hold on to their opinions more strongly than most people. They won't shift their beliefs just because someone criticizes them.
Their deep minds cause them to think through their ideas clearly. The self-esteem they built through their high standards also helps them have self-trust. They've already validated their opinions to themselves, so they don't feel the need to validate them to others.
That's why they won't explain their perspective to someone who is being disrespectful about it. They don't need to prove their opinion to anyone but themselves.
2. They emotionally detach from people who keep disrespecting them
SDI Productions from Getty Images Signature via Canva
People who continuously disrespect a friend with high standards probably won't stay friends with them for long. Those people know that friends like that are toxic, and toxic relationships can cause a lot of damage. They can damage someone's mental health and cause them to feel really insecure.
People with high standards won't let others bring them down. They cut off friends who don't listen when they tell them they're upset. They have the insight to understand that they need to cut these people off to be happier in the future.
When people cut toxic people out of their lives, they make room for new friends. They have the time to make healthier relationships with people who actually care about them.
3. They explain how they feel without placing blame
Instead of blaming whoever said the rude comment for being mean, people who know how to shut down disrespect use 'I' statements. What this means is that rather than saying "You were so disrespectful", they'd say "I felt really disrespected".
When you blame someone, people typically get defensive. They'll try to explain why they're right or just double down on their attack. 'I' statements avoid assigning blame. Someone can't tell their friend they're wrong for feeling something because they can't prove that.
It forces the disrespectful person to address their rude comment. When that happens, they usually apologize.
4. They redirect the conversation instead of engaging
Some people shut down disrespect by simply ignoring it. When their friend says something disrespectful, they'll just brush past it and move on. They won't let themselves focus on negative comments because they have deep minds that cause them to reflect on themselves.
If they genuinely did something wrong, they'll think about it later and tell their friends they're sorry. These people hold themselves to the same high standards they hold their friends to. They don't want to end up becoming a disrespectful person.
Because they're reflective, they'll know whether someone is making a genuine comment about their behavior or just offering a mean critique. When they know they didn't do anything wrong, they'll simply ignore someone's comment and move on. They'll change the conversation so they don't have to listen to someone being disrespectful for no reason.
5. They refuse to sink to the other person's level
boggy22 from Getty Images via Canva
Like I said before, making sure you’re not stooping to the level of somebody who’s being disrespectful is the most important thing. You don’t want to let someone’s negativity change your behavior.
People with high standards make sure they hold themselves to them. If one of their standards is being a kind person, they’re not going to sacrifice that. They don’t become disrespectful just because someone else is doing that to them.
Their deep minds allow them to see that there's no benefit to that. If they respond poorly, it just gives a disrespectful person more to comment on. Instead, they'll be the bigger person and respond positively. It allows them to maintain the high standards they want to hold themselves to.
6. They set and maintain firm boundaries
Boundaries are a good way to help people understand what not to say to you. It’ll clearly separate what you see as disrespectful and let them know to avoid it. People with high standards set those boundaries so they can hold their friends to a standard of respecting what is important to them.
Sometimes people don't realize how hurtful their comment was because they haven't learned it's something that it really bugs their friend. They might not know about a negative experience their friend had in the past that causes them to get upset about specific comments. People with deep minds can rationalize that it’s not their friends' fault for crossing a boundary they didn’t know existed.
Instead, they’ll tell them it’s okay, but they’d prefer if they didn’t say it again. These people are constantly adjusting their boundaries to what they need to feel respected.
7. They question the disrespectful comment
A lot of times, disrespectful people don’t realize what they’re saying is wrong. Sometimes shutting down disrespect is as easy as showing someone how hurtful their comment was. People who shut down rude comments question their friends about what mean thing was said.
Their deep minds help them ask the right questions to ask. They get the disrespectful people to question themselves, too. By making that person go deeper into why they said that, disrespectful people sometimes realize they don’t actually believe what they said. Maybe they just made a mean comment because they were feeling hurt too.
Even if they think they meant whatever mean thing they said, they might just be projecting. Questioning their comment will show them that it wasn't actually about the other person. It'll cause them to question their comment and why they really said it.
8. They let silence make the point
Odua Images via Canva
After someone says something rude, people with high standards and deep minds will stay silent. They'll let the other person's words hang in the air, prompting the disrespectful person to think about what they said.
When people respond to someone else with silence, it usually means they don't agree with what they're saying. People who remain silent rather than get defensive show they have high standards for not agreeing with themselves. They won't change their opinion just because someone criticizes them for it. They also know silence is typically more powerful than anger.
It'll make the other person realize they've hurt their friend's feelings. They'll probably feel really awkward and apologize. Their understanding of the power of silence demonstrates their deep mental abilities, as they have a keen awareness of how people respond to different stimuli.
Lily Bell is a college student studying English and Publications who covers relationships, mental health, and personal narratives surrounding the human experience.
