5 Ways To Know If Your Friend Is Taking You For Granted

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two women friends sitting on bench

Friendships are always hard. They are hard to make in the first place. They are hard to maintain. They are hard to keep.

You have to find that one person who gets you and likes the same things you do and can put up with you when you’re being dramatic and annoying and overthinking things with their latest boy problems.

You have to find someone who is willing to put in as much effort into your friendship as you are. They have to be willing to make sacrifices for you. They have to defend you even when it’s hard or embarrassing. They have to choose you over a boy — and not let crushes come in between you.

Once you find a friend like this, you need to try your best to love them and earn their trust and never let them go.

But the thing is, oftentimes, you might think that you’ve found a best friend and they seem like the most perfect friend ever, but they turn out not to be. They end up not being able to handle your drama. Or they don’t want to put in as much effort in hanging out with you or whatever it may be.

Then it’s up to you to figure out that they aren’t the best friend you thought they were and you have to try and solve things with them but if they don’t want to fix it, there’s really nothing you can do other than what’s best for you and move on.

So, here’s how to know if you’re in one of these toxic friendships and need to consider addressing it to fix it — or just getting out and breaking up with your friend ... because you absolutely deserve better.

Here are 5 ways to know your friend is taking you for granted:

1. You are always the one making the plans.

You find yourself constantly inviting your friend to do things and coming up with all the ideas for what to do together and when to do it. You have to instigate and make sure it’s something that they’ll be interested in doing or else it won’t happen.

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2. They don't invite you to hang out with their other friends.

They hang out with their other friends and do things without inviting you even though you made it clear that you wanted to hang out with them. They’ll only hang out with you or invite you when they don’t have any other options and are bored.

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3. They make everything about them.

They are constantly talking about their issues and problems in life and how hard it is for them to cope and deal with everything and love hearing and taking your advice and words of wisdom. As soon as you want to confide in them, they seem like they’re half listening and give you half-hearted responses that aren’t very helpful.

If it’s not about them, they don’t want to talk about it.

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4. They steal your friends.

You introduce them to your other friends so that you can all hang out together and enjoy each other’s company. Next thing you know, they’re hanging out with your friends without you and they don’t even consider inviting you unless they need or want something from you. You’ve been officially cut out of their lives or at this point, your own life.

5. You feel like you can't be yourself around them.

You should be able to be yourself completely around your friends. If you ever feel like they are ashamed of the person you are or embarrassed to be seen with you in public or they just make fun of you for your likes and interests and behaviors, they are not the type of person that you want in your life. You deserve the absolute best in a friend. They should love and adore you for you who you are just like you do with them.

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Everyone has flaws of course. Everyone makes mistakes. I'm not trying to say that we should write people off for every little thing, everyone deserves forgiveness. But, if your friend does any of these things mentioned, those aren't little issues — they matter — and they need to be addressed and taken care of.

If your friend refuses to acknowledge the pain or hurt that you're feeling from their actions and choices, then you might need to face the hard truth that it could be time to let them go and find new friends who will treat you the way you deserve to be treated.

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Hayley Small is a writer who focuses on pop culture, religion, and relationship topics.

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