Trial Attorney Shares 3 Things To Say When Someone Is Rude To You

You don't have to let rude behavior go unchecked, but you can be smart about how you respond.

woman with a sneer AnnaNahabed / Getty Images via Canva

Ever been in a situation where someone's just plain rude to you? It's easy to get frustrated and upset and your gut reaction might be to just snap back in anger or sarcasm. But there are better ways to handle things.

Trial attorney Jefferson Fisher recently shared three things you can say when someone's rude to you.



3 Things To Say When Someone Is Rude To You

1. "Did you mean... ?"

When someone is rude to you it's best to respond with a statement along the lines of, "Did you mean that?"


Ask them, "Did you mean for that to be insulting?" advises Fisher. You could also try, "Did you mean to come across rude?"

Asking this type of question allows this person to clarify, apologize, or confirm what they meant to say. This can also help you steer clear of arguments, as clearing up any confusion can help avoid misunderstandings.

RELATED: Why Rudeness Is Just A Weak Person Pretending To Be Strong

2. "It sounds like you're having a hard day."

Have you ever had someone be short or passive-aggressive with you? Instead of responding with anger, you can say, "It sounds like you're having a hard day," says Fisher.


By using this phrase or saying, "Have I done anything to offend you?" you give them a chance to explain their mood. You're also driving home the point that you've picked up on their rude behavior.

3. Say nothing.

Sometimes the best response is no response at all. "You just let it fall," says Fisher. Remember, ignoring rude behavior is always the ultimate power move.

Choosing not to respond shows how emotionally mature you are to both yourself and the other person. Moreover, this can leave the person feeling embarrassed and ashamed of their rude behavior.



Knowing how to deal with someone being rude is important to navigating complex relationships. But it's also equally important to learn how to control your reactions before responding.


Here are some tips to help you manage your anger when faced with rudeness.

3 Ways To Control Your Anger

1. Relax

Learning to relax your body is key to controlling your anger. According to the American Psychological Association, "Simple relaxation tools, such as deep breathing and relaxing imagery, can help calm down angry feelings."

RELATED: How To Put Disrespectful People In Their Place (Forever)

Look up deep breathing exercises or engage in creative activities to allow yourself to calm down. Once you're mostly calm, reapproach the conversation with a neutral mindset.

2. Communicate

"When you're angry it's easy to jump to conclusions," according to the American Psychological Association. So, be sure not to respond with the first thing that comes to mind.


Think carefully about what you're going to say before you say it. Think about the tone of voice you'll use and how you want your message to come across.

Listen to what the underlying message is and then figure out ways to address it.

3. Change your mindset.

Angry people tend to respond in the same manner. They'll cuss or speak loudly to convey how they're truly feeling.


It's important to remember that anger brings out our dramatic self. So, instead of responding with anger try and change your extreme thoughts to rational thoughts, summarizes the American Psychological Association.

Don't use words like "never" and "always" when thinking or talking to someone else. And remind yourself that anger should never and can never be used to resolve conflict.

RELATED: Why People Treat You Badly And How To Stop It

Marielisa Reyes is a writer with a bachelor's degree in psychology who covers self-help, relationships, career, and family topics.