Self

5 Tiny Habits Of People Who Don't Care What Other People Think

Photo: Allef Vinicius | Unsplash
Woman sitting in cafe booth

Isn’t it the ultimate dream to be unaffected by other people’s thoughts, opinions, and judgments? How would your life be different if you were genuinely unaffected by others’ views? Imagine what this would do for your stress, confidence, and your creativity.

Here are 5 tiny habits of people who don't care what other people think:

1. They’re not wrapped up in themselves.

People who care deeply about the thoughts and opinions of other people have one very good reason behind why they do this: they suspect something is ‘wrong’ with them. If they didn’t think anything was wrong with them, why would they buy into the judgments of total strangers? Why would someone who knows nothing about you determine your emotional experience in any way? Think about that.

You’re scared because you can’t bear the idea that someone would confirm the thing you dislike about yourself. But people who don’t care know this: there is nothing wrong with them. ‘Wrong’ is never going to be anything more than a subjective human judgment — and those are always lies. We’re all whole, enough, full. There’s no second-guessing. You never need to take anything personally if you’re not wrapped up in yourself.

Photo: Andrea Piacquadio/Pexels

RELATED: I Am Not What Others Think Of Me: My Journey To Acceptance

2. They don’t think about ‘self-esteem.’

At some point in their lives, unnecessarily fearful people took the concept of self-esteem too seriously. Now they allow an illusion to dictate their confidence. Why is that? Because if we believe the idea that other people have the power to diminish our illusory ‘self-esteem,’ we become uptight. We have something to lose, and other people threaten who we are.

There is no self-esteem drain. We only think we’re not confident. In truth, we are flesh and bones with thoughts about who we think we are. We’re not bones. We’re the energy that animates it all — and this connects us all. When we see that there’s nothing tangible to protect — that we’re energy — we do not need to be bothered about what Nancy said about us on Twitter.

3. They want to make others happy.

Especially given that there’s no longer any need to obsess about ourselves, chill people are focused, by default, on bringing joy to other people. If you get the idea that we’re all connected, then it makes sense that we’d become enlivened by making others happy.

When we direct our attention away from our own made-up and painful insecurities, we suck all the power out of what was previously fuelling our suffering. There’s no longer any need to self-obsess. You’re fine. You don’t need fixing. You will be energized by energizing others — especially those around you who matter the most to you.

Photo: Yaroslav Shuraev/Pexels

RELATED: 3 Ways To Stop Obsessing Over What People Think Of You

4. They think from the inside out.

There are always two ways to look at life. You can either see what’s happening around you through the ‘I can’t believe this is happening to me’ lens, or you can see it through the ‘I’m creating it all, and I can choose how I want to feel’ lens.

People seemingly immune from other people’s criticisms are operating via the second lens. They understand that their experience is internally generated. They are not at the mercy of other people and situations. Seeing things this way brings unparalleled levels of security to their experience. They know that their life is a direct reflection of the thoughts in their mind. So they don’t wait for people to be kind to them to enjoy themselves. They found a way to enjoy themselves regardless.

RELATED: 2 Psychological Tricks That Help You Stop Caring What Other People Think

5. They are focused on making cool stuff.

With all this free time and mental space created by caring less about yourself and what others think of you, guess what happens? You can’t help but feel good. You can’t help but sense this beautiful drive running through you that was there all along.

A drive that makes you want to spread joy create things and reap the rewards of living. Life becomes a game of creation. You are innately driven to connect with people, to see others thrive, and to work on cool projects that speak to your soul. If you want this experience, you can have it right now. Why are you still reading this right now? You’re here.

You are already successful, so let that be the energy you approach life with so you can create more success. Focus on creating with such a sense of abundance, force, and relentless energy, and you won’t have time to care about what others think of you.

Photo: Megan Ruth/Pexels

RELATED: How To Finally Stop Caring About What Other People Think, According To The 'People Displeaser'

Alex Mathers is a writer and coach who helps you build a money-making personal brand with your knowledge and skills while staying mentally resilient. 

This article was originally published at Medium. Reprinted with permission from the author.