You Can Usually Tell Someone's Outperforming Everyone Else By These 10 Things They Do Instinctively
Cristian Rojas | Pexels I suppose I’m not your average 40(2)-year-old. I’m a Brit who has lived in a new country every one or two years, and I now live in Bulgaria. I’ve lived in over fourteen countries. I used to be terribly anxious, but now I look forward to waking up each day.
My most sacred priorities are freedom, prolific creative output, contribution, self-reliance, and adaptability. I was a digital illustrator in my twenties and a business coach in my thirties. I’ve built a readership of over 200,000, make enough money from my own business to live well, and my investments are solid.
I haven’t had a real job since age 23, and I’ve worked for my own company since then. My path is obviously not for everyone, and I have my stumbles and frustrations, but I’ve also never been happier, contrary to what many assume would be true for a single 40-year-old. Here's how I was able to outperform everyone else, and how you can tell someone else is, too.
You can usually tell someone is outperforming everyone else by these things they do instinctively:
1. They understand life is a dream
You get to live that dream today. Our minds project our reality via thought onto the screen of consciousness. Seeing this makes it far easier to stop taking everything so seriously. The people who outperform refuse to treat every setback like a referendum on their worth.
2. They have remarkable objectives
Have remarkable objectives that not only create superior results but also stir up remarkable effort. Goals are good for planning your progress, and systems are suitable for making progress.
Goals can provide direction and even push you forward in the short term, but eventually, a well-designed system will always win. Having a system matters, but committing to the process makes the difference.
3. They learn to distinguish between their instinctual voice and their critical one
The latter is trying to protect you, often sabotaging you; the former is showing you the way. The critical voice is wired to keep you safe by staying small. Have you ever mistaken your loud voice for a smart and logical voice? Your instincts might be quieter, but far more accurate than that inner critic.
4. They know to be kind, not just nice
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Nice is often forced, a type of performance. The world and your tribe don't need that; they need you to be authentic and honest. This doesn’t always mean being ‘nice.’ Niceness helps you manage other people's feelings about you; kindness means putting their well-being first, even when what you need to say isn't what they want to hear.
5. They play it cool when things don’t go their way
Never react in anger. Nurture calm like it’s your highest purpose. Reactive people are continually teetering on the edge of destroying their lives.
6. They don’t expect anyone to make the first move
Never wait. Go out and create what you want, even if it feels a little forward or icky-uncomfortable. Nothing is being withheld from you, I promise. If you were to honestly reflect on those around you, you'd notice that they got noticed because they sent the first message and asked the question everyone was thinking (but were too scared to ask).
7. They see their problems as opportunities
This happens when you find the gift hidden inside. Psychologist Dr. Jenny Wang points out that the people who outperform others "reframe failure by facing their shame, recognizing how it plays into a fear-based fixed mindset, and working to develop a growth mindset."
8. They never take things personally
Learn to breathe through it. It’s a practice. When someone snaps, they're rarely reacting to you as a person. They're reacting to their own day, their own internal and external pressures. Real freedom is realizing that you don't have to absorb any of it.
9. They maintain a small network of friendships
People rarely reach out, so you need to put in the work. Take responsibility for creating and maintaining your little tribe. Quality over quantity. This alone feels good.
10. They stand up straight and go and get what’s theirs
Even when they feel sad or a bit overwhelmed, they go get what's theirs. Stand up tall. Own your choices. Take action, and don’t stop. You'll find yourself outperforming everyone else by challenging yourself to do things that aren’t always easy.
Alex Mathers is a writer and coach who helps you build a money-making personal brand with your knowledge and skills while staying mentally resilient.
