8 Things Boomers & Gen X Consider True Friendship That Younger Generations Often See As Inconvenience
oneinchpunch | Shutterstock Friendships are integral to well-being and a sense of community, but like with everything else in life, when you were born has a huge impact on what it means to be a true friend. Even if the benefits of having friends remain the same.
The things that people want from their friends have changed, too. Boomers and Gen X expect more traditional friendships, while younger generations are fine with being a bit more casual as long as they know they can count on each other.
Things boomers and Gen X think signify true friendship, that younger generations view as inconvenient:
1. Dropping by unannounced
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There are few things that millennials, Gen Z, and probably even Gen Alpha dread as much as the sound of a doorbell. They completely ignored all the advice their parents and grandparents offered about keeping their house clean enough for guests and looking presentable.
For boomers and Gen X, it’s not a big deal to stop at a friend’s house without an invitation, especially when they’re close by. They show their love with their presence, but young people think this creates an unnecessary burden.
2. Borrowing pretty much anything
Older generations kind of see friendship as a free excuse to borrow anything they want, which is probably best exemplified by the way everyone used to go to their neighbor’s house when they needed a little extra sugar or butter while making dinner.
Borrowing something and never giving it back doesn’t feel as bad when it involves a friend because they’re probably not going to say anything. Younger people don’t see the logic in that, though. They care about their stuff, and they don’t want to lose it, even if they know it would be going to a good home.
3. Meeting up in person
With so much technology that makes us all feel constantly connected, it’s harder to make the argument that we should prioritize hanging out with friends in person. Boomers and Gen X didn’t grow up talking to their friends on FaceTime, so that doesn’t feel totally normal to them now.
Although younger generations don’t see any reason to actually meet face-to-face, their parents might have a point here. Research has proven that people benefit from seeing their friends in person. It isn’t always the most convenient thing, but it does strengthen the friendship.
4. Talking on the phone regularly
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Communication has changed drastically across generations, and sometimes millennials and Gen Z get an undeserved bad rap. Boomers and Gen Xers grew up wanting to talk to their friends on the phone for hours, while their kids spent most of their time texting and DMing.
Most young people genuinely don’t want to talk on the phone because they aren’t used to it. Older generations think phone calls are one of the best ways to stay close to friends, especially when they live far away, but that’s not a habit they passed down.
5. Being honest no matter what
When someone tells an outright lie for their own benefit, it’s hard to excuse that. But there are certain situations when it’s better to bend the truth a little, like when you know it will hurt someone’s feelings or there’s nothing they can do to change whatever you’re about to bring up.
Younger generations aren’t serial liars, but they do try to respect people’s feelings and take how they would react if they were told the same thing into account. Older people are much more blunt, though. If their friend’s outfit doesn’t look good, they’ll say so, and they’ll think they did them a favor.
6. Staying close through big transitions
Some people manage to maintain their childhood friendships for their entire lives. The people who can’t do that aren’t doing something wrong. The reality is it’s hard to stay close when you’re going through the changes that come with being a young adult.
Different generations have different opinions on that. Young people are pretty accepting of the fact that friends don’t always grow together, but older people think they need to hold on no matter what happens. Even when they go through big changes, they’ll expect their friends to remain at their side.
7. Showing up to help at random times
If you think about it, there are services that do what people used to expect their friends to do. Uber or Lyft is there if you need a ride to the airport, and AAA is just a call away when you have a flat tire.
Younger people are much more comfortable using these options instead of reaching out to a friend for help when they know it might be a bad time. But that’s not how boomers and Gen X grew up. A big part of friendship for them is offering tangible support, even when it feels awkward.
8. Overlooking different beliefs
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Boomers and Gen X weren’t raised in a deeply divided environment like younger generations. They would think they weren’t being a real friend if they cut ties with someone over their beliefs.
Young people have a very different perspective. They’re used to intense polarization, which has also made them more comfortable around people who agree with them. Unfortunately, this could limit their opportunities and their relationships based on something pretty inconsequential.
Mary-Faith Martinez is a writer with a bachelor’s degree in English and Journalism who covers news, psychology, lifestyle, and human interest topics.
