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She's admired and successful. She positively glows. What's her secret?
By Carolyn R. Owens — Written on Dec 17, 2022
Have you ever been to a conference or social event where a woman walks into the room, and you cannot help but notice her? People gravitate to her — she converses with ease and grace.
As you learn more about her, you only hear kind, compassionate words and comments about her successful career.
She smiles as if happiness leaks from every pore of her body. Her officemates confirm this is her regular, everyday presence. When things go wrong in the office, she still smiles. The calm demeanor she has is infectious.
So, what keeps her surrounded by this positivity, while others fall into negative traps of toxicity?
Here are four things successful women do to avoid being brought down by negative people.
1. They nourish their minds, hearts, and souls.
Often, we will focus on our outward appearance and neglect what happens internally. We look good on the outside, but what is happening inside is tearing us apart.
When we find ourselves around negative people, we become easy prey, falling victim to their way of thinking. When you feed your mind, heart, and soul with positive thoughts, you are not easily drawn to this mindset.
Think about what you watch on TV, view on social media, and read. Are these programs or books helping you grow, or are they pulling you into a place of despair? Next time you watch a TV program or spend time scrolling on social media, take a moment to see how you feel afterward.
2. They know that true self-care matters.
Women tend to be natural nurturers. We constantly take care of others, in every area of our lives, before we take care of ourselves. We sacrifice our eating habits, home environments, exercising, sleep, etc., to make sure everyone else is okay.
Doing so can lead to unconscious resentment that shows up in how we interact with people. Our confidence decreases, leading to self-doubt. Often, the solution becomes serving others more and more. The cycle becomes harder to break.
Successful women have a healthy balance between taking care of themselves and others. They know when to stop, pause, and catch their breath. What do you do when you find yourself overwhelmed and running in too many directions?
3. They are careful with the company they keep.
There is a saying that proclaims, you are a product of the five people you spend the most time with. When you surround yourself with people who love to gossip and tear others down, you being to embody the same mindset.
Instead of being productive and growing, your career can stagnate. You wonder why people respond to you the way they do, but your reputation speaks for itself.
You become part of the group no one trusts. You get overlooked for the career-changing assignments. Or, if you are a business owner, people are reluctant to do business with you. Why? Because people do business with people they know, like, and trust.
Who are you spending time with most? Successful women have mentors, coaches, and sponsors that help keep them aligned with their goals. They also hold them accountable and gently guide them back in the right direction as they get off course.
Take a moment to assess who you allow to spend time with you. When you leave them, do you find yourself inspired and motivated, or are you thinking badly about yourself and want to give up on your goals?
4. They don’t believe the hype.
Negative people will often unjustifiably speak poorly about other people. But, they also talk badly about themselves.
Negative self-talk fill their heads and yours too. As they share these thoughts with you, you can begin to doubt yourself or get caught in a comparison trap. These negative thoughts can hold you captive, preventing you from taking that next step.
Successful women don’t believe the hype. They acknowledge the thought that may come up but quickly move past it, allowing them to stay on track and not get sucked down the path. They learn strategies that keep the thoughts at bay.
Negative people will want you to join them as misery does love company. You don’t have to go there with them, and settle for days and days of unhappiness.
Start by accepting that every day will not be perfect. Things will happen, and you will make mistakes. The difference becomes how you respond to the negativity.
Put these four things in place to prevent negative people from stealing your happiness and choose how you will live.
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Carolyn Owens is a best-selling author and Master Certified (MCC) Executive, Leadership, and Mentor Coach. She has over 25 years of experience working with top leaders in leadership and professional development.