If You're Starting To Wonder If You Deserve Better, You Do
Listen to your gut.
PeopleImages | Shutterstock We all have this inner voice in our heads that we love to ignore. It tells us to eat a vegetable, get to bed at a decent hour, and stop letting guys who don’t care about us hold so much importance in our lives. But like I said, we rarely listen. We ignore the call of common sense and push forward with our warped thinking.
We lie to ourselves. All the time. Blame it on being afraid of change or wanting to hope for the best, but ignoring your gut feeling when it tells you something isn’t right with your relationship will always lead to trouble down the road.
Every time I’ve had a gut feeling about something being off with the person I was dating or the relationship I was in, I was always right. Just sometimes, not right away. See, when I trust myself, I bring up my concerns to the other person. I'm honest and direct about what I'm feeling, and in turn, they are too. Usually, I find that I'm trustworthy, and my gut feeling was right all along.
For example, I had been on a few dates with this guy I liked, and I recently started feeling that something was off. He didn't seem as into me as he had been when we first started hanging out.
Instead of trying to shake it off, I asked him about it when we were out one night. As it turns out, he had been pulling back because even though he liked me, he didn't really want to get into a relationship.
Because I trusted myself, I stopped wasting my time. I stopped investing in someone who didn't want the same things as me. But when I don’t trust myself, I hold on. I try to force things to be good and tell myself I’m being ridiculous. The relationship still ends, but in a much more dramatic and drawn-out way.
Listening to the little voice in your head that’s telling you, “Yo, something is up here,” saves you from going through a lot of unnecessary conflicts. When you’re honest about your concerns, you’re more likely to get to the bottom of them.
So, don’t be afraid, and don’t turn away and ignore your instincts. If you feel weird about a situation or think that you’re being treated unfairly, then you probably are.
Instead of pouting or complaining or doing nothing about it, bring it up. Advocate and stand up for yourself. It’s the only way to ensure you won’t waste too much time dealing with nonsense.
Emily Blackwood is a freelance writer, editor, and journalist who covers relationships, entertainment & news, pop culture, and wellness.
