4 Small Habits That Instantly Make People Admire You, According To Experts
Habits that take seconds, but leave a lasting impression.
ARIF | Canva Social Value Orientation (SVO) refers to an individual's preference for outcomes that benefit themselves, others, or the group.
Research suggests that SVO is influenced by socialization rather than genetics. A person's social value is usually based on how they impact others. So, being a person who is valued requires your top-tier social skills.
Here are four small habits that instantly make people admire you, according to experts:
1. Being curious
People truly value other people who are curious about them. In social situations, people become interested in you when you genuinely want to know about them.
Asking questions and being interested in the answers sets you apart. Too many people go on and on about themselves as if the other person is just there to be their audience! We can learn so much by listening to others with genuine curiosity.
— Mary Kay Cocharo, LMFT, MS, Counselor/Therapist
2. Remembering details
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Memory is one little habit to make yourself more valued than most people. Remember what their concerns and interests are. Address them with pithy, well-founded information and not advice unless advice is solicited.
To be accurate, check in with them to make sure your understanding is current. Use gentle humor as appropriate.
— Ruth Schimel, Ph.D., Career & Life Mgt. Consultant, Author
3. Coming from a place of authentic kindness
Cultivating a habit of kindness is a profound way to elevate your value in any social context. Kindness is more than just a series of benevolent actions; it's a mindset that reflects deep empathy and a genuine understanding of the human condition.
When you consistently demonstrate kindness, you don't just perform good deeds — you signal a rare and profound emotional intelligence. This includes connecting with others on a deep level to understand and share their feelings and navigate the complex web of human emotions with grace and understanding for others. This approach to life endears you to others and fosters a sense of community and mutual respect to create an environment where positive relationships can thrive.
— Clare Waismann, Waismann Method and Domus Retreat Founder
4. Practicing what you preach
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People automatically dislike hypocrites, but cut a lot of slack to people who follow the same advice in their lives that they give to others. Being true to yourself is not just great for your mental health.
It is something others admire as well. As we've all seen, people who tell you how to live when their own lives are built on lies fall out of favor — and are subjected to scorn — rather quickly and definitively in the Internet age.
— Dr. Gloria Brame, Ph.D., Therapist and Author
The most valued people in the room are the ones who approach each social interaction with sincere curiosity. Our curiosity helps us remember the concerns and interests of others, so we are more capable of responding to create an emotional connection.
When kindness is your authentic mindset and words match actions, you can't help but sparkle in the minds of friends, colleagues, and strangers alike. Go, own the room at the next event!
Will Curtis is YourTango's expert editor. Will has over 14 years of experience as an editor covering relationships, spirituality, and human interest topics.
