Single Mom ‘Doesn’t Believe In Child Support’ Because She ‘Made The Decision’ To Have A Baby & Kids Don’t Cost More Than Taking Care Of Herself
She claimed that people should take responsibility for deciding to have children, especially financially.
Jacob Lund | Shutterstock A single mom has ruffled quite a few feathers after admitting that she doesn't believe in and understand the purpose of child support.
In a since-deleted TikTok video that has elicited a slew of responses from other content creators, a mom named Michelle claimed that she has never seen the point in demanding a spouse pay child support when the decision to have a child was already made.
Michelle said she 'doesn't believe in child support' because she 'made the decision' to have a baby.
Michelle explained that she decided to share her opinion after seeing a video of a woman talking about child support. While she understood her point, Michelle insisted that her belief has always been that child support is rarely necessary. She claimed that she understood the point of it, but for her personally, she didn't quite believe in it.
"I've been in a relationship where my kids' dad, he doesn't help," Michelle said. "We've never been to court because I don't see the point of it. First off, I myself made the decision to lay down and do what I did knowing there was a chance I would have a child."
Michelle claimed that she knew that sleeping with her ex meant possibly having a child and decided to take full responsibility for that. For her, that included taking financial responsibility too.
Of course, there's no arguing that taking responsibility for a child is the right thing to do, but there are definitely circumstances that trump Michelle's mindset.
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Additional support, such as child support, is often non-negotiable for single parents. There's nothing shameful about taking your child's other parent to court and demanding they legally contribute to the financial upbringing of their child. While it may be an overwhelming and taxing experience, ultimately, you're not doing it for yourself but for the overall well-being of your child moving forward.
Michelle insisted that it doesn't take much to care for a child, and even pointed out that raising children isn't as expensive as taking care of yourself. "If you don't wanna have kids, use protection. If you don't wanna have kids, don't do stuff," she declared.
"You, as a woman, is [sic] the one producing this child. Yes, the men have a play in it; by all means, they do. But they're not the one that carries the child. They're not the one that produces the child out of their body. That's your responsibility."
For most parents, raising children and funding childcare is extremely expensive.
In a report released by by the Women's Bureau with data compiled by the Labor Department across 2,360 counties in 47 states, it found childcare prices ranged from $5,357 for school-aged home-based care for one child in small counties to more than $17,000 for infant center-based care in large counties.
That's between 8% and 19.3% of the median family income per child and above what the Department of Health and Human Services considers affordable child care: 7% of a family's income.
Even in households where both parents are present and working, they are still struggling to take care of themselves and their children. Just because it might work for one person to support their child doesn't mean that's the reality for others.
According to data from the Pew Research Center, another source of financial stress for many working parents is unexpected child-related emergencies that require time off from work. About one in five parents who work at least part-time (19%) say they would be extremely or very worried about losing pay if they needed to take a day or two off work because of childcare issues, and 9% say they’d be equally worried about losing their job.
It's incredibly unrealistic to just assume that every person who has a child is meant to have that child. Accidents and circumstances happen, and while it doesn't mean that every child isn't valued or loved, it does dismiss the complexity of parenthood and the slew of other factors that can influence family planning.
Being a single parent isn't an easy job; in fact, it's probably the most stressful and time-consuming role anyone can take.
One of the ways that single parenthood is alleviated, even by just a fraction, is through child support. There's such a stigma in this country surrounding child support, and it often unfairly targets single parents, particularly single mothers, as if they're somehow exploiting the system or relying on it as a primary source of income when that's not the case.
There is a genuine need for financial assistance in many single-parent households, which is only exacerbated by the lack of government resources and assistance in this country as well.
Nia Tipton is a Chicago-based entertainment, news, and lifestyle writer whose work delves into modern-day issues and experiences.