The Simple Behavior That Reveals Someone Has Immense Inner Strength, According To A Philosophy PhD
A philosopher shared a simple way to spot if someone has inner strength.
PeopleImages.com - Yuri A / Shutterstock Everyone needs some level of inner strength to make it through day-to-day life, but there are times when you meet someone and you can truly feel that they are drawing from a well that’s deeper. Their inner strength isn’t superficial or just enough to push through the day. Instead, it’s a very real, tangible thing.
There are all kinds of inner strength and really no single way to determine if someone has it. However, one philosopher has worked out his own method with a little help from some ancient wisdom, and it seems like it may be worth paying attention to.
According to a philosophy Ph.D., a simple behavior reveals immense inner strength.
With over one million followers, one could say that Julian de Medeiros has become one of the great philosophers of TikTok, where he is known as @julianphilosophy. De Medeiros is also a lecturer at the University of Kent in the U.K.
In one video, de Medeiros talked about the signs that someone has inner strength. He connected it all back to knowledge shared by St. Francis de Assisi “in which he basically argued that truly strong people are always gentle giants. Or, as he put it, ‘There is nothing so strong as gentleness and nothing so gentle as true strength.’”
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Although it’s an oxymoron, de Medeiros believes that the truest indicator of inner strength is gentleness.
De Medeiros argued that this principle applies to “both inner and outer strength, physical and mental prowess.” He explained St. Francis’ thoughts this way: “And what he meant is that making other people feel small is a weak man’s idea of strength. But to be truly strong is to make people feel safe.”
To some, this may seem strange, because typically when we think of a person who is strong, we think of someone who is tough and just shoulders through whatever they’re facing. This can certainly be considered one kind of strength, but an even deeper form is treating yourself and those around you with grace and gentleness.
Admittedly, there aren’t many people like this in the world. Instead of strength, a lot of people tend to see this kind of behavior as weakness, so they avoid it. But this isn’t accurate, according to de Medeiros. “In fact, truly strong people realize that they have to control themselves, that it’s because they’re so powerful that they have to be careful that they never lash out,” he said.
There are plenty of examples of this in the world today. We see it in politics, in popular media, in toxic masculinity, and even in schoolyard bullies. Quiet inner strength is not celebrated and appreciated as it should be, and it gets overshadowed by aggression.
Other experts agree that gentleness is really the key to strength.
While there isn’t one single obvious way to show strength, de Medeiros’ argument seems solid. The more someone is willing to lead with a sense of kindness and calmness, the stronger they are. He and St. Francis aren’t the only ones who feel this way. Educator Ryan M. Niemiec, PsyD, also thinks that true inner strength comes from gentleness.
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Niemiec argued that gentleness is a “strength of character," and he said it “is seen in the handling of adversity with a calm, even-handedness.” He noted that there is very little research on gentleness to speak of, which isn’t particularly surprising, but that it “fits under the virtues of humanity and temperance and is captured by the primary character strengths of humility, forgiveness, and kindness.”
“And this makes them nurturing,” de Medeiros said, “and it makes them the kind of people that want other people to be relaxed.” So, inner strength actually has little to do with how aggressive you can be. Rather, it’s about your ability to nurture and be gentle with the people around you.
Mary-Faith Martinez is a writer with a bachelor’s degree in English and Journalism who covers news, psychology, lifestyle, and human interest topics.
