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Faith should never be used in this way.
By Deauna Roane — Written on Dec 31, 2022
Narcissists are people who thrive off being above the rest of us. They are manipulative, cunning, deceitful, and have a real problem with criticism. They are not the best people to surround yourself with, and can drain you of your time and energy.
But what some people don't know is that there is a subcategory of narcissists called spiritual narcissists who use faith in their manipulation.
What is a spiritual narcissist?
A spiritual narcissist is someone who deeply believes their spiritual wisdom is superior to those around them and makes them special. This type of person uses their faith or spirituality to manipulate other people in order to boost their own ego.
Spiritual narcissists use faith to build themselves up whilst tearing people down. Their ego is held above all, and they specifically use faith to do so. They will also deem other spiritual practices other than their own fake or imposters.
According to spiritualist and TikToker Celina Marie, spiritual narcissism is often caused when the person is not tapped into their higher self. They can be charismatic and charming but, above all, they crave control.
A spiritual narcissist could be anyone from a friend to family members or even someone in a place of worship. It's best to know the signs and to avoid these people at all costs.
10 Signs Of Spiritual Narcissism
1. They are friendly at first.
When you first meet a spiritual narcissist, they may quickly idolize you as a person.
According to Marie, "You feel like you have a lot in common with this person regarding spirituality." They are incredibly friendly in the beginning in order to create a bond.
2. They belittle you.
If you notice that this person starts to belittle you every once in a while, you could be dealing with a spiritual narcissist. This is especially true if they follow it up with things like, "I'm just joking" or, "I'm just playing."
"You don't get what's funny. It's rude. It's just plain rude," Marie explains.
3. You get a bad feeling about them.
Your intuition looks out for you, so it's best to listen to it. If your gut is saying to run away from this person, do it — they are probably bad news. Don't give them the time of day or let them get any closer to you.
4. They act as if they know more than you.
If this person believes they know more about spirituality than you do, hightail it far away from them. If anyone starts thinking or even saying aloud that they are above you in any way, that is a narcissist and you don't need that in your life.
Marie says, "Everyone is on their own journey, nothing is linear in spirituality." If this person thinks you aren't as spiritual as them, consider it a huge red flag.
5. They can't handle criticism.
Narcissists hate being wrong because they thrive off being perfect or superior to the people around them. So when they are wrong they may lash out and even gaslight you.
Marie explains, "If you try to correct them about something that they said or something that they did, they will act as if you don't know what you are talking about and they will lash out."
You will feel very off around them if you kindly try to correct them and they start to detach from you.
6. They will attack you.
This doesn't necessarily mean violently or physically, but they will go after your character if you mess with them.
Marie says, "They start saying 'oh, you're like this' or 'you're like that.'" They will intentionally try to put you down and hurt your feelings, "since you triggered their fragile ego."
7. They manipulate scripture.
One major sign of spiritual narcissism is manipulating scripture to justify their actions. They hide their toxic behavior behind the gospel and will even use it to gaslight you into doubting your own beliefs.
A way in which they do this is by pointing out specific parts that align with their viewpoint, while completely ignoring other parts that contradict them.
8. They control conversations.
If you are dealing with a spiritual narcissist, they will always control the conversation. If you say something they don't like, they immediately derail you and steam-roll their way into the conversation.
They won't let others speak, and if they do they dismiss what is said and continue with their own agenda.
9. They talk rather than listen.
Narcissists cannot focus enough on another person in order to listen to them. The only reason a spiritual narcissist would join a conversation is to get their point across (which usually will end up in a debate).
Spiritual narcissists never wish to contribute to a healthy conversation, but rather, impose their ideas on others. The only people they listen to are people they see as on a higher spiritual level than they are, which hardly ever happens.
10. They brag.
Another big sign of a spiritual narcissist is if they brag about their spirituality or how spiritual they are. This is doubled when they put others down in regards to spirituality, claiming they aren't spiritual enough or that they are doing it the wrong way.
These people constantly talk about how great spiritualists they are and how people should listen to them more often. Yet, they couldn't care less about the world around them or about helping others.
How to Deal with a Spiritual Narcissist
1. Cut them off.
A person like this is not worth your time or energy. If you know a narcissist, cut them off. Ignore them and remind yourself that no one is above anyone.
2. Say 'no.'
It can be hard to say no to people, in general, and saying no to a spiritual narcissist can be even harder. They know how to push the right buttons to get what they want. Don't give into their demands because it will only inflate their ego more.
Stay strong when they ask for a favor and say no. You'll be glad you did.
3. Confront them.
By all means, if you have the courage to confront them head-on, do it. Most narcissists need a reality check, so if you feel strongly enough to give it to them, go for it.
However, you should remember that no matter what you say, the spiritual narcissist may not hear you or even care, so don't rile yourself up too much if this happens.
Make sure they know that you are not on board with their intrusion into your privacy the next time they feel like lecturing you about your spirituality.
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Deauna Nunes is an associate editor for YourTango who covers pop culture, lifestyle, astrology, and relationship topics. She's had bylines in Emerson College's literary magazine, Generic and MSN.