7 Signs Someone's In Need Of A Serious Life Clean-Up

Photo: Brooke Cagle | Unsplash
Woman with low self esteem

How do you respond when asked, “How are you?”

Is it the usual, “I’m OK” or “I’m fine”? Or is it, “Not too bad” or “I’m surviving”?

What would it take for you to respond with, “I’m doing great” or even, ”I couldn’t possibly be better”? Imagine if you really meant it when you said it!

If your experience is anything short of fabulous, it’s time to take a close look at yourself. Which can be a challenge, I know.

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Here are 7 signs you may need a life reset & how to get started 

1. You complain … a lot.

You get easily irritated by people and circumstances.

You are also quick to find someone to blame when things don’t work out for you, and you are disappointed. Your misfortunes are always someone else’s fault.

The truth is, you’re the creator of your experience.

How to fix it: You may not always have control over your situation…but you get to choose how you react to it. Stop reacting and start responding.



2. You routinely seek affirmation from others.

Instead of making decisions and trusting your instincts, you routinely ask for others' opinions about things you need or are considering doing.

If they think it’s a good idea, then you have validation that your idea is OK. You don’t easily make decisions for yourself and are happy when others decide for you. You escape any responsibility should things go awry.

How to fix it: This is a clear sign you don’t trust yourself, and your confidence needs a boost. As hard as it is, you'll need to just get started taking the risk of making decisions for yourself and trusting your gut. 

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3. You’re a chronic people-pleaser.

You consistently go out of your way to make sure everyone you know is happy at the expense of what’s important to you.

Say you set aside some time to take care of something important to you, such as school work, and while you’re tending to your important matter, a friend calls you and asks you for a ride to the airport.

You gladly drop what you’re doing and tend to the needs of your friend. To you, this is what good friends do for each other.

Your friend could easily take an Uber and respect your need to tend to your matter and would think no less of you for doing so.

How to fix it: Learn to graciously say no and stop putting everyone else’s needs above your own.

4. You compare yourself to others.

When out and about, you find yourself looking at others and judging how you stack up to them by how they look, who they're with, what they do, or what they have.

You see an attractive guy and who he’s with and think, “What’s he doing with her?”

How to fix it: This constant looking at how you "measure up" to others is a clear sign you need to take a good look at yourself. The problem is you're too busy looking at everyone else and not focusing on improving yourself. Turn it back inside. 

5. You’re uncomfortable being alone.

Being alone brings on feelings like nobody cares like you’re a loser because you have no one to hang out with.

Being alone gives your inner critic fertile ground to wreak havoc on your self-worth.

If you experience a sense of being uncomfortable when being alone, it’s time to invest in building your self-worth.

How to fix it: Wayne Dwyer said it best: “You never have to worry about being alone if you are comfortable with the person you’re alone with.”

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6. You have a string of failed relationships.

They typically ended the same way. Perhaps he cheated on you, was abusive to you, or neglected you.

You’ve dated the same guy over and over but with different faces. Each relationship ends in the same result.

Consider this. What’s the common denominator in all of these failed relationships?


How to fix it: Consider what it is about you that misses the early warning signs of someone who will hurt you. And why do you keep choosing the same type of guy time and time again?

7. Your wardrobe doesn't fit right.

At least, you think so. You are concerned about how you look and get frustrated when things don’t look right.

You’re afraid of what others will think about the way you appear. You’ve developed a habit of spending long periods looking in the mirror primping and adjusting your hair, makeup, and what you're wearing to attain a satisfactory look for fear that others will see a flaw and think less of you.

There’s nothing wrong with wanting to look your best, but feeling insecure about your appearance and always trying to uphold that perfect look is a drain on your confidence.

How to fix it: Do your best to limit negative self-talk, and even how often you refer to yourself negatively. Focus on what works, what looks good, and what feels good — to you.

Don't worry, there is hope. 

It's possible to go from relating deeply to these warning signs to being fully empowered and confident with who you are.

Confident people are at peace with themselves. They’re not overly concerned about other’s opinions.

They’re confident in their decisions and are OK with mistakes because they learn from them.

They don’t complain because they see the best in people and circumstances.

They’ve recognized these traits no longer serve them and make a conscious effort to change.

You can, too.



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Craig Nielson is a Professional Coach, Speaker, and Educator who assists clients via his company, My Internal Image.