8 Self-Defeating Habits Of Quietly Miserable People
Miserable people develop habits that make them their own worst enemy.
Ilona Kozhevnikova / Shutterstock Life is filled with the highest of highs and the lowest of lows. While we all experience unhappiness and different times in life, quietly miserable people tend to have self-defeating habits that are detrimental to their well-being and make things far worse than they would be if they could find their way to a more positive mindset.
You will likely never hear people like this complain about their misery, but they spend a great deal of time quietly suffering in silence. Misery loves company, and there are people among us who are so used to being its willing companion that they defeat themselves unknowingly. They may feel more comfortable in a negative place because of a history of childhood trauma or disappointing life events, but they don't have to stay stuck in their pain. If they could see themselves the way the outside world sees them, they could recognize and address the self-defeating habits that keep them in misery.
1. Quietly miserable people don't take care of themselves
Liza Summer from Pexels via Canva
Self-care via hygiene and personal upkeep is critical to physical health. Limited sleep, an unhealthy diet, and a lack of regular exercise can contribute to and even escalate feelings of general unhappiness.
Quietly miserable people don't have the self-motivation to do the things required to show up as their best selves. They bury their troubled feeling in detrimental activities like stress eating or binge watching TV from the couch with no physical activity to balance these poor habits out.
2. Quietly miserable people dwell on negative thoughts
If you are a quietly miserable person, it may be difficult for you to see past what is going wrong in your life. You may struggle with a lack of gratitude because you are hyper-focused on negativity and often compound it by attracting more of it into your life.
People who are quietly miserable tend to fixate on all that they have lost, what they lack, and past failures. While others might take the lessons learned and apply them forward to make improvements for the future, miserable people are comfortable and content in their state of unhappiness. They can't see the good in life and dont' recognize just how blessed they are to be here.
3. Quietly miserable people are resistant to change
Nes from Getty Images Signature via Canva
Change is hard. Once you master one way of being, the task of learning something new and unfamiliar can seem daunting. The quietly miserable remain stagnant and don't experience as much personal growth as those who have a positive outlook on life and therefore believe they can overcome any obstacle in their way.
Adapting to change requires an ability to see the good in the process and quiet those negative, intrusive thoughts, something miserable people are often incapable of. They get stuck in what was, unable to make the transformation to what is, leaving them clinging to familiar pains from their pasts.
4. Quietly miserable people see themselves as victims
People with a victim mentality are always looking for a pity party where they can interpret every action taken by others as a slight against them. They take everything personal and are unable to see how others around them might be impacted or accept reasoning that goes against their intrinsic belief that the world is out to get them.
Miserable people who see themselves as victims don't possess the personal agency and responsibility necessary to take accountability. They lack the decision-making skills needed to identify potential paths to happiness and stay the course.
5. Quietly miserable people compare themselves to others
Mixmike from Getty Images via Canva
Comparison is the thief of joy, yet quietly miserable people often compare themselves to those whom they believe are living their best lives. They watch people they secretly admire via social media or other platforms, wondering why others have full, vibrant lives while they remain stuck in their heads.
Instead of seeing their own value, they diminish it by wearing rose-colored glasses when it comes to those in their orbit. They watch and mentally point out all the magical things their friends and acquaintances have achieved, leaving their self-esteem in tatters, and feeling even more inadequate than before.
6. Quietly miserable people stay isolated
There is nothing wrong with sitting in a place of solitude. As a matter of fact, most of our growth can be realized when we quiet the outside noise and listen to ourselves for guidance. But quietly miserable people engage in isolation instead of productive time alone.
They forego relationships with friends and family and disconnect from their community, going inward where the only voice they can hear is their own. This act of total isolation restricts them from receiving support from others or deriving joy from rewarding interactions they might otherwise experience.
7. Quietly miserable people disregard their mental and emotional health
shisuka via Canva
Many people who choose to live in constant misery have unresolved mental and emotional conditions that keep them in a loop of unhealthy thoughts and behaviors. Rather than seek professional help to deal with these issues, they embrace them and continue the downward spiral of negativity.
People who truly want to be happy are self-aware, proactively identifying problems that might impact their mood or way of being. When they recognize a need, they seek help from those qualified to deal with their specific affliction. Miserable people wrongly believe that they can navigate complex mental and emotional challenges without support.
8. Quietly miserable people procrastinate and avoid unpleasant things
While some of us prefer to tackle dilemmas and disagreements head-on, people who are quietly miserable prefer to avoid difficult tasks or conflictual encounters. They assume negative intent and would rather disengage than work through matters that impact them.
Delaying or avoiding important tasks and decisions only compounds their problems. It creates undue stress, unmet obligations, distrust from others, and more feelings of despair. Putting important conversations on the back burner further isolates them and pushes them further into a miserable existence.
NyRee Ausler is a writer from Seattle, Washington, and the author of seven books. She focuses on lifestyle and human interest stories that delivers informative and actionable guidance on interpersonal relationships, enlightenment, and self-discovery.
