8 Secret Habits Of People Who Don't Get Stressed
Learn to live a calmer, more relaxed life.
MilanMarkovic | Canva I have to admit, I’ve spent a pretty sizeable chunk of my life worrying about stuff I could have left alone. I’ve learned much over the years from the most relaxed people I know. I combined my fascination for human behavior and my curiosity for living a calmer, more relaxed life.
Here are 8 secret habits of people who don't get stressed:
1. They own their insecurities
There’s no better way to develop unnecessary anxiety than by surrendering to the false idea that you have insecurities that need hiding. If we believe the idea that something’s wrong with us, this is judgemental. This puts us under a lot of pressure — the exact opposite of calm. Calm people accept their limitations, work on the things they can change, and let go of the idea that there’s nothing wrong. Yes — it is a case of letting go and developing the healthy habit of not continually berating ourselves for not being who we think we should be.
2. They don't rush
Simple shifts in outward behavior have an enormous impact on how we feel and think of ourselves. Chill people don’t rush physically. This doesn’t mean they don’t get stuff done or are layabout hippy types. It simply means they move at the speed of life. They talk at a pace that doesn’t stress others or themselves. They take it all in their stride. They own time in their calm motion. Moving calmly and more slowly can be intentional. It can be viewed as a habit that is nurtured. When you move slower, life slows down too, and everything becomes easier.
3. They cut out things that trigger anxiety
This one seems obvious, but you know why it needs to be included. Even if we get anxious and verbally express our dissatisfaction with it, we can still do things that make us nervous. You know what those things are. Stop smoking. Reduce or cut out caffeine. Be conscious of the cause-and-effect relationship between certain habits and how you feel. You need to find a way to be okay with dropping bad habits. Understand how the thrill you get from quitting is better than the buzz you get from your fix.
4. They get plenty of sleep
Sleeping adequately (7–9 hours a night) is still frequently scoffed at by people who wear their daily exhaustion like a badge of honor. "Oh, I’m super hardcore because I work out daily, take care of the kids, work four jobs, and sleep four hours a day. Sleep is for wussies." Good for you, I guess, but lack of sleep makes you stressed and rapidly ages you. You need to find a way to sleep solid, nourishing hours every night to be truly calm. This is how you perform at the highest level.
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5. They give up on ‘shoulds’
Calm people live by this philosophy: No matter what we decide to do with our lives, there will always be challenges, problems, and frustrations. Living according to what other people want, rather than what we want, is stressful.
The most chill people go for what they want to do. They ask: "What would I love to create this month?’ And they find a way to make it happen, knowing full well that all kinds of things will attempt to get in their way and sabotage their efforts. If they expected all of life to be easy, you could be sure these people would be wound up tighter than a toy truck. But they're relaxed because they expect hardship and just roll with it, happy in the knowledge they’ve chosen the thing they want to do, for themselves — not for other people who think they know best.
6. They make others feel calm
Here’s a fun little life hack: focus on helping other human beings get what you want, and you will get what you want. So, if you want to feel calmer, focus on helping others feel calm. Now your attention is no longer on yourself, which is debilitating. Your attention is outward. This is what it means to be mentally well. It’s about contributing and bringing joy to others. Open your eyes. Make others calm, and you, in turn, will be relaxed.
7. They create more than they consume
We are always in either one of two modes: reacting or creating. Note how they contain the same letters. Reacting at its worst is to respond angrily to something that triggers you. Notice this happening a lot on the Internet? Yep. Most people are hopelessly reactive, judgemental, and miserable as a result. Consumption is also often a form of reactivity. Creating is the flip side of consumption and is what humans are made to do.
If your life features more consumption and reaction than creating, you’re polluting your mind and soul. You’re adopting the submissive posture of a follower and a loser. Calmness follows doing what is nourishing, natural, and the true expression of what it means to be human: creating.
8. They stop looking for ‘happiness’
There’s a difference between pursuing what we want to do in our lives and chasing happiness. Looking for happiness means we continually self-evaluate our emotional experience. It’s super self-conscious. The thing about emotions is this: they fluctuate with every thought we have flying through our skulls. We’re fluctuating beings by our very nature. Calm people stopped focusing on their feelings and perceived ‘happiness’ long ago.
Instead, they put their attention towards creating systems that are biased to action. They create momentum. It’s to be in action, taking the hits, and embracing the less fun parts of life that will create what we perceive to be ‘happiness.’ Happiness isn’t always a good feeling — it’s to be in the trenches, doing what interests you, covered in mud, with a smile on your face.
Alex Mathers is a writer and coach who helps you build a money-making personal brand with your knowledge and skills while staying mentally resilient.