Saying These 3 Little Words Limits Your Self-Love

Your words can make or break your sense of self-worth.

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We've all uttered the phrase, "I feel fat" at some point in our lives, right? Maybe we didn't think much of it then. After all, it's a common phrase those around us tend to use.

But putting yourself down can lead to harmful behaviors later on. So, why is this phrase so damaging, and how can we learn to connect with our emotions better?

Psychologist Dr. Nicole Andreoli explains why saying, "I'm fat" is damaging in our self-love journey.




Saying "I Feel Fat" Limits Your Self-Love

"The phrase I hear most often is 'I feel fat'," says Andreoli, "But this phrase is harmful as it impacts our emotions and what we do next."

We may unconsciously begin to eat less in hopes of getting skinnier. Or we may overeat to become curvier.


However, the issue with this phrase extends far beyond the actions we take. Rather, it adds emotion to a word that isn't supposed to have emotion.

"'Feeling fat'isn't a thing," says Andreoli. And you're pointing the blame in the wrong direction. What you are feeling isn't fat you're feeling insecure or discomfort.

Being able to pinpoint your emotions is key to resolving these emotions. But if you're constantly looking in the wrong direction how do you expect to resolve the issue?

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RELATED: Complaining About How 'Fat' I Am Gives Me An Odd Sense Of Comfort

So, by identifying what emotions we're feeling we can finally learn to love ourselves. But what happens if you don't know what emotions you're feeling? Then what?

If you're looking to understand how you're feeling here are a couple of things you can do to start.

Figuring Out How You Feel

To get a handle on your feelings, start by thinking about what you already know. "What feelings are you aware of right now, and which stands out the most," asks psychologist Joan Cusack Handler.

Next, look at the stressors in your life that contribute to these feelings. Is family drama or relationship issues keeping you down? What can you do to alleviate those stressors?


"Explore your job and how it's impacting your emotional health," says Handler. This can also be contributing to your low self-confidence.

Can't figure out your emotions still? Try exploring your childhood memories to figure out how adults treated you. Does their poor treatment align with how you treat yourself?

RELATED: Why We Need To Change The Way We Talk About Body Image, Health & Wellness (Like, Now)

Record these responses in a journal and if necessary bring them to a therapist. Exploring these emotions with a professional can help you overcome your insecurities.


If you don't feel comfortable with a therapist try talking to a loved one. Sometimes letting your emotions out can help you understand them better and see things in a new light.

When we focus on healing our wounds, we can learn to love and appreciate the body we were given.

RELATED: How To Change The Way You Think About Body Image Issues

Marielisa Reyes is a writer with a bachelor's degree in psychology who covers self-help, relationships, career, and family topics.