People With Zero Respect For Boundaries Often Say 6 Rude Phrases Without Thinking
mkfilm | Shutterstock I had a friend growing up who couldn’t help but make everything about herself. She was kind of a narcissist, but that wasn’t even the worst thing about her. The real reason was that she had no respect for any of my boundaries.
People who are more self-centered than altruistic often ignore boundaries, and they'll let their disregard slip into conversation without even thinking about how rude they are. Many people have to put up with friends like that, and it can leave them feeling disrespected and unhappy.
Rude things people will flippantly say who have no respect for anyone's boundaries:
1. 'I have a personal question'
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Some people have boundaries about how much they’re willing to share with others. They might need time to think things through before telling their friends what's going on, or perhaps they prefer to keep their personal lives out of co-worker conversations.
People with zero respect for boundaries don’t care about protecting someone’s privacy. In conversations, they’ll ask personal questions without accepting the other person's reticence to share.
It’s kind of an impossible situation for the person whose boundaries are crossed. They’re forced to confront something they don’t want other people to know about. Even if they refuse to answer, it makes it clear to the people around them that whatever the person was asking about makes them uncomfortable.
2. 'I think you need to let it go'
This phrase is rude in its simple disregard for the other person's feelings, even if it's true. Say a girl did something really mean to her friend, and they cut her off because of it. That’s them setting a boundary with another person. Their boundary is that they don’t want to be around that girl because they don’t want to be hurt again.
Now say they have another friend with zero respect for boundaries. The disrespectful friend will almost always have their own opinions about how they should handle the situation. Often, they’ll say, “I think you need to let it go.” It is an invalidating statement.
3. 'Wait, I forgot to tell you about this!'
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People who don’t respect boundaries are usually not the most empathetic. Empathy is what causes people to care about their friends' lives and respect their needs. Someone who doesn't care about listening to their friend shows that empathy isn’t their strong suit.
People generally enjoy talking about themselves, so it really shows someone that you care when you focus on them instead. People who disregard boundaries can’t do that and will constantly interrupt others when they’re talking.
They’ll always find a way to bring the conversation back to themselves. Their lack of empathy is what causes them to repeatedly cross boundaries and disrespect their friends.
4. 'You have to come with me!'
People who don’t respect your boundaries don’t respect your schedule or your time either. This can be especially frustrating if you’re already super overwhelmed.
It adds more stress because it’s just another thing on your schedule. Some people feel really guilty whenever they view plans with friends as a task, but their disrespectful friend makes it hard not to see it that way. They force plans on their friends because they don’t let them refuse.
Time is a boundary a lot of people don’t think about, but it’s still an important one. Friends who don’t respect your time or the fact that you have other things going on don’t respect your boundaries.
5. 'I'll feel awkward if I go alone.'
People can sometimes get away with crossing boundaries by trying to guilt-trip others into getting what they want. People with zero respect for boundaries do this all the time when there’s something they want to do that makes their friend uncomfortable. They’ll make up an excuse to make others feel bad so they have to do it.
It’s so easy to give in to this one because I’m sure everyone can empathize with that feeling. I don’t know any respectful person who wants to make their friend uncomfortable. It manipulates them into doing whatever they want to avoid, and will probably make them feel unhappy later on.
6. 'Why are they mad?'
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People who don’t respect boundaries often don’t realize it. If they saw something wrong with their behavior, they probably wouldn’t keep pushing everyone’s boundaries.
That doesn’t mean people in their orbit don’t still get hurt because of their ignorance. Their loved ones will get fed up with their behavior and might decide they’d rather not be around someone who has no respect for their boundaries. When this happens, those kinds of people will ask, “Why are they mad at me?”
Even if another person tries to explain it to them, they might still not see it. They never learned how hurtful a boundary crossing can feel because we all live in a bit of a bubble where we expect others to interact with the world the same way we do.
Lily Bell is a college student studying English and Publications who covers relationships, mental health, and personal narratives surrounding the human experience.
