4 Reasons We Need To Stop Treating Aging Like It’s Literally The Worst Thing To Ever Happen
Nati | Canva “No one prepared us for this!”
“Hair loss wasn’t on my bingo card”
“I can’t sleep a full night anymore because I pee so much.”
“Why didn’t anyone tell us about perimenopause?”
Sigh. Just stop, will you?
I’m speaking to you and myself as well. I’ve been there, I've done it, and now I’m sick of hearing it. I've read all the things, joined in on all the whining, and spoken like an expert jerk about all things “getting old” to whoever will listen. But I’ve had an epiphany: all this moaning is making us even older. Here are some insights I’ve picked up along my crusty old journey.
Here are some reasons we need to stop treating aging like it’s the worst thing ever:
1. Most people don’t care
fizkes / Shutterstock
“You won’t be young forever!” my mom said. “Nana told me, and now I’m telling you: enjoy it while you can,” she continued as I was walking towards my car. “Yeah, yeah, I know. I’ll be back later, don’t wait up!” I said as I jumped in my Cutlass Supreme, heading out for a mindless night of hormone-infused drinking.
Old people tell young people all the things, and the young people pretty much never ever listen. If they did, I would’ve stopped going to the tanning salon when an “old” customer in the floppy hat told me all the perils of her skin cancer. But I ignored her, and now I’m scrounging the aisles for the best “anti-crepe” lotion I can find. They’ll learn like we did, by making mistakes, so save your breath: Youth is wasted on the young.
2. Living in 'the good old days' is a mind melt
Years ago I heard a saying, “The past is a great place to visit; just don’t live there,” and I couldn’t agree more. It’s great to reminisce, but it’s easy to get stuck wishing for days of old that will never come back. I watched my sister do it when her life got tough, and if you’ve followed me long enough, you know how that ended. Get a new hobby, make new friends, visit new places, take a new route, and shake things up so you don’t get stuck in the cobwebs of your boom box.
3. Ruminating on getting old is frankly depressing
Getting old is not easy, nor fun. I know, I know, some say it’s the “best season” and “I’m full of more wisdom” or “I’m aging gracefully,” and I call liar, liar. Sure, there are things you’re glad you know now, but I can’t say I know anyone who truly enjoys going gray, losing words, waking up with random, unknown kinks in their body, or feeling like anyone under 45 looks through you like you’re invisible. Oh yeah, and your friends or family start croaking. True story.
Aging isn’t all doom and gloom, but it’s definitely thrown a lot of things at me I didn’t see coming. Now it feels like the next season is just a calendar of dodging bullets. Why would I want to dwell on that?
4. You can’t change it
fizkes / Shutterstock
No cream, injection, procedure, or diet will make you go back in time. In fact, many who are desperate to hang on to the look of their youth end up looking more like a clown-faced version of their former self.
After reading too many articles about the “horrors” of getting old, I’ve decided to use my time and energy on more positive things. Like making a plan to do an overnight hike on a local volcano while I still can, or finishing the memoir I started but got sidetracked on, and figuring out how to make this next handful of years some of the most important of my life instead of looking at them as if I’m tumbling off a cube in Q-Bert.
Not long ago I sat at lunch with my father and two of his 80-something-year-old friends, and all they talked about was medical procedures and whose blood work came back badly. I told my dad I’d rather do literally anything else than have to sit through another meal like that. He just laughed at me and said, “That’s all they talk about; it’s terrible,” and he’s 86.
So what now? I’m far from perfect, and I’m not in my senior years yet, but I’ve quickly seen how detrimental it can be to hyperfocus on aging. I have friends who use the phrase “... at our age” a little too much, in my view, and frankly, I don’t like being categorized as “their age” at this point. People are living much longer, and if the longevity in my family is any indication, I have at least 30+ years left to go, which is a whole young lifetime. Why do I want to spend the next 30 years whining about how bad it could potentially be instead of trying to live my best life one day at a time? I don’t.
Kristen Crisp is the founder of Not Even Wine With Dinner. A community/mission for those looking for peer support with sobriety, self-esteem, mental health, aging, and all the things that come with being human. She is also a frequent writer on Medium under the handle @notevenwinewithdinner.
