8 Rare Traits Of People Who Seem To Succeed At Almost Everything, According To Psychology
Maxwell Gold | Canva Some people seem to glide through challenges that flatten everyone else. They hit their goals and keep moving forward in ways that can feel almost unfair to watch.
Do you do things that get in the way of your goals and dreams? Humans are funny creatures. We can know what we want, but then find ways to set up obstacles through bad habits or brutal self-judgments. Psychologist Nick Wignall explains that "there's often a flood of self-judgment and self-criticism leading up to the moment of self-sabotage that most people are barely conscious of."
Wignall's take is that most of us underestimate what we're capable of because we've never actually faced a challenge without that extra layer of inner noise on top of it. I can hold myself back, but I’ve lived long enough to know the risks and to know what to do to limit self-sabotage.
Here are 8 rare traits of people who seem to succeed at almost everything:
1. People who always seem to succeed know that failing to plan is planning to fail
Keep it simple. Before you start your day’s activities, write out the five priorities for the day. I do this by referring to my longer-term goals first. Then, I write out my next steps in order. Now, there is no second-guessing. I am in ownership mode.
Research by the University of California, Irvine indicates that planning your day significantly boosts productivity by reducing cognitive burden, providing clarity on tasks, enabling prioritization, and minimizing stress by giving a sense of control, essentially allowing individuals to live more intentionally and manage their time effectively.
2. They disconnect from past shames
Amir Moharrami / Unsplash
The illusion of the past has sabotaged humans over the course of history more than anything else. And yes, the past is made up in our heads. We’ll allow ourselves to hold ourselves back if we can’t forgive. We are limited if we’re guided by a story of who we think we are. How to let go?
You must find the strength to stop thinking about the past and replace it with a ruthless bias to action. Fill your day with movement. New actions will start to redefine the image you hold of who you are. Use action like a powerful poison that stifles the growth of new, pernicious thoughts.
According to 2020 research, shame is linked to social threat with a variety of possible primary threat emotions, including anger, anxiety, and disgust, and often with a sense of defeat, loneliness, and disconnectedness.
3. People who always seem to succeed see respect as a non-negotiable
Make a stand for who you are and your pride in yourself by respecting your mind and body. Do what you need as a non-negotiable before all else.
Responding to emails does not place higher than meditation or going for a thirty-minute walk. The more you replace people-pleasing with looking out for yourself, the more progress you will make.
4. They have a consistent routine
Most of us are in tremendous conflict because we’re self-conscious. We are in self-doubt. Why? People tend to give very irrational answers to such a question. Ask them.
It’s ultimately mind-boggling. Forget yourself. This takes courage. Focus on the system. What’s your system? Brushing your teeth every day is a system. And it works. Systematize, and don’t get lost in self-obsession.
According to Wignall, "Highly motivated people build routines into their lives that generate motivation consistently. Instead of waiting around to hit the motivation jackpot, they design their life around energy-giving activities." A consistent routine is about taking the guesswork and the self-doubt out of the equation, so your focus can go where it actually matters: spending time with the people you love and feeling like your life has meaning.
5. People who seem to always succeed don't let themselves spiral
“You’re so lazy.” Hear that? Yep, that’s your negative self-talk part of you, which — believe it or not — is acting in your self-interest. It wants you to be safe, and it wants you to do better. But that pressure cripples you.
It decreases your effectiveness and makes you feel small. You know this. If the voice pipes up for me, I know it’s time to do one thing: turn away from thoughts and get into motion and the visceral beauty of the present.
Research extensively links negative self-talk to a range of negative consequences, including increased stress, anxiety, depression, decreased self-esteem, impaired cognitive performance, and can even contribute to physical health issues. According to a 2021 study, the more someone engages in negative self-talk, the more likely they are to experience detrimental effects on their mental and emotional well-being — it's like a self-fulfilling prophecy.
6. They do one thing at a time, and they do it well
Getty Images / Unsplash+
Sabotage is far more likely when we’re in our heads. We can’t be in our heads if we’re doing one thing at a time. How? Because we’re no longer in planning or thinking mode. We’re in motion. We’re in the flow of doing. In this state, we’re gifted with a stream of insight that lifts us higher.
Research by the American Psychological Association shows that focusing on one thing at a time, also known as "single-tasking," is significantly more productive than attempting to multitask, as the human brain is not designed to effectively handle multiple tasks simultaneously, leading to decreased efficiency and mental fatigue when switching between tasks.
7. People who seem to succeed at almost everything do the hardest thing first
We create unnecessary obstacles when we perceive ourselves as victims in our own life stories. That’s the epitome of self-sabotage.
Quit blaming others for your struggles and take responsibility. This starts by doing one responsible thing. Do the hard thing today and do it first. As a time-management tactic, that's called eating the frog: identifying your most important task, and getting it out of the way first.
An article by the Association for Psychological Science indicates that actively facing and engaging with something you've been avoiding, often referred to as "exposure therapy" or "approach-based coping," can be highly effective in reducing anxiety and overcoming avoidance behaviors, even though it may initially feel uncomfortable. Essentially, the more you avoid something, the more stress it can trigger, so confronting it directly can help desensitize you to the fear over time.
8. They're unapologetically bold
Boldness is underrated. Hesitation will be the slow death of you. Every action you take that is half-hearted defines your reality and will be met with an equally flaccid result. You don’t need to know what you’re doing to be bold. You needn’t know what the future holds to be bold. No one does. We’re all in the fog.
Research published in 2022 in the International Journal of Psychophysiology defines boldness as a personality trait characterized by a low sensitivity to threat, often associated with a willingness to take risks and act confidently in the face of uncertainty. Studies show that individuals high in boldness tend to exhibit reduced reactivity to unpleasant situations and display greater social dominance.
Alex Mathers is a writer and coach who helps you build a money-making personal brand with your knowledge and skills while staying mentally resilient.
