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Pregnant Woman Wonders If She's Wrong For Wanting A No Alcohol Policy At Her Gender Reveal Party

Photo: Dean Drobot via Canva Pro
Couple talking and laughing with their friends during a gender reveal party

A pregnant woman is torn about a specific request for her gender reveal party that her fiancé doesn't quite agree with.

Posting to the subreddit "r/dustythunder" — an online public forum where users can post about something that's happened to them and receive feedback and advice — a 23-year-old mom-to-be questioned if she was in the wrong after she and her fiancé got into a disagreement about their gender reveal.

She wondered if she was wrong for wanting a no-alcohol policy at her gender reveal party.

In her Reddit post, the soon-to-be mother explained that she and her fiancé are getting ready to have their first baby. Before getting pregnant, they each talked about the type of environment they would want to raise their children in, particularly in regard to the presence of alcohol.

Pregnant Woman Wants A No Alcohol Policy At Her Gender Reveal PartyPhoto: NDAB Creativity / Shutterstock

She shared that her fiancé had been raised in an environment where everyone around him drank all of the time. For her, she had been raised around family members who drilled into her the dangers of getting involved in drugs and alcohol.

"When I turned of age I drank when I would go out but it's not a constant thing," she shared. "My fiancé, however, drank constantly starting at age 16. He has stopped drinking like that in the past year and only has a couple of beers, maybe two days a week."

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During their discussions, her fiancé insisted that he didn't like being raised around alcohol and that it led to him never being able to hang out with his friends without wanting to drink and get drunk. She, however, enjoyed being raised without exposure to drinking, since it taught her how to have fun without getting intoxicated.

This discussion led the two of them to agree that it would be best to limit their child's exposure to alcohol.

"Meaning there wouldn't be drinking at our kids' birthday parties or events and if we took them somewhere where there were a lot of people drinking, we wouldn't stay for the whole event," she continued. "Well, I don't want to have alcohol at our gender reveal or baby shower to set the precedent that when it comes to events for our child, alcohol will be prohibited."

Pregnant Woman Wants A No Alcohol Policy At Her Gender Reveal PartyPhoto: Africa Studio / Shutterstock

"We also plan to do a skeet shoot for the men at our reveal and as many people know, guns and alcohol don't mix," she added.

When she told her fiancé about the no-alcohol policy for their gender reveal party, he was surprisingly annoyed and questioned if she knew how many people she was alienating by this rule. He claimed that no one would want to show up if they weren't allowed to drink.

"I said 'Honestly, if no one wants to show up for the gender reveal and welcome a new member of the family in just because they can't drink alcohol there, then that sounds like it's their problem. Not mine,'" she wrote.

But her fiancé still wasn't budging. "He said 'Well don't get your feelings hurt when nobody shows up. I might not even show up.'" She accused him of being ridiculous, but he refused to continue the conversation. 

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In the comments section, people agreed she wasn't wrong for wanting this policy at her gender reveal party.

"Your fiancé already said he agreed that he doesn't want your child to grow up around a lot of drinking, but now he's going back on it," one Reddit user wrote. "He needs to decide whether raising your child in a healthier environment is more important or if he wants to continue to cater to the people who caused him to grow up thinking you can't have fun if you're not drunk."

Another user added, "If they don't show up without alcohol, they aren't there for the baby. Plain and simple. If they can't respect your wishes, maybe you don't want them around until the baby is a little older anyway."

"If drinking culture is such a big deal, maybe find some really fun mocktail recipes to go along with the theme so people still feel like they’re able to sip on something fun," a third user suggested. "And for the beer drinkers, maybe get some flavored carbonated water so they have something dry and fizzy."



"If good food, fun (non-alcoholic) drinks, and a good time aren’t enough for them, then they’re definitely alcoholics," the Redditor added.

If the mom-to-be doesn't want alcohol at an event that is meant to celebrate her and the baby she will soon be welcoming into the world, that is her decision. There's nothing wrong with having alcohol policies set in place, and as many Reddit users pointed out, if family members choose not to come for that specific reason, then that's their issue — not the pregnant woman's.

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Nia Tipton is a Chicago-based entertainment, news, and lifestyle writer whose work delves into modern-day issues and experiences.