People With Zero Respect For Other People's Boundaries Almost Always Use 8 Phrases In Casual Conversation
Jakub Zak | Shutterstock When someone respects other people’s boundaries, they’re sending a clear message that they’re a safe person who can be trusted.
That’s the kind of person we all want to be around, but there aren’t a lot of people who meet that standard. It’s pretty common for people to ignore boundaries completely, especially with those they feel closest to.
People use these phrases when they have zero respect for other people’s boundaries:
1. ‘I knew you’d change your mind’
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This is the kind of phrase people use when they don’t respect your boundaries, but they also don’t want to make themselves look like a villain. It’s almost like they’re trying to convince you that you made the choice to ignore your own boundaries and they were just an innocent bystander.
Not everyone who violates your boundaries is actually doing it to hurt you. They might think they’re doing you a favor. That’s the kind of person who will make it look like they did nothing wrong even though they knew they were pushing you too hard.
2. ‘Don’t be so difficult’
There’s something so frustrating about a person who is mad about your boundaries, so they get mad at you, too. They’ll do whatever it takes to make those boundaries look ridiculous so that it fits their narrative, even if it means resorting to insults.
Setting boundaries doesn’t mean someone is difficult, but that’s how it will feel to anyone with no emotional intelligence. The emotional pain they cause in that situation will be just as serious as any physical pain, which means the relationship probably won’t make it, even if the other person was willing to forgive the boundary violation.
3. ‘You’ll get over it eventually’
A lot of people who find boundaries annoying try to get around them by invalidating the other person’s emotions. There’s really nothing as dismissive as saying someone’s feelings don’t even matter because they won’t be mad forever.
Minimizing people’s feelings in this way is super manipulative, but that’s really the whole point of not respecting boundaries. Anyone who feels that way wants to find a way to get people to do what they don’t want to do.
4. ‘I didn’t think I needed to ask for permission’
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A big part of boundaries, both for the person setting them and the person respecting them, is not trying to read someone’s mind. Just because a person knows someone else well doesn’t mean they can predict what they’re feeling.
A careless person would use this as a way to attack your boundaries. They’ll make it sound like a burden to them that they shouldn’t have to deal with because of their relationship with you. No one ever told them they need to ask for permission, though.
5. ‘You just want to be mad about something’
This is a pretty ironic phrase to use because true anger issues arise when someone isn’t able to control their frustration. But setting healthy boundaries is a sign that someone is very much in control of their emotions and overall well-being.
It’s just that person’s way of blaming you for their own problems. They know you’re not mad, and you don’t make a habit of becoming angry. On the other hand, it does seem like they’ve gotten pretty upset themselves.
6. ‘It’s not actually that serious’
A classic sign of gaslighting is one person telling another that they’re taking things too personally. In reality, their reaction is totally valid, but they want to make them doubt that.
This seems like a pretty low blow just for someone to ignore your boundaries, but it can happen. Whether they say it directly or imply it, they’ll let you know your feelings are too strong for that specific situation. In their mind, there’s no reason to get upset about your boundaries being violated.
7. ‘I’ll just do it myself then’
When someone uses this phrase, you’re probably going to feel guilty. That’s exactly what they want. You didn’t do anything wrong, but they want you to think you did so they can control you.
This is their way of trying to get sympathy without truly deserving it. It’s the version of the truth they want you to believe so that you forget you ever had boundaries in the first place.
8. ‘I thought you trusted me’
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People who don’t care about boundaries are causing a really toxic problem on their own, but they want to hide that if they can. That’s when they play the victim and turn things around so it seems like you have a problem that’s hurting them.
This is an interesting strategy because they’re actually showing that they don’t trust you by ignoring your boundaries. They probably aren’t thinking about it like that, though. They just want to get what they want.
Mary-Faith Martinez is a writer with a bachelor’s degree in English and Journalism who covers news, psychology, lifestyle, and human interest topics.
