Emotionally Intelligent People Usually Keep These 6 Phrases Out Of Their Vocabulary
Dmytro Zinkevych | Shutterstock Emotionally intelligent people put themselves in other people's shoes, which is why they always know the exact right thing to say no matter where they are or who they're with.
Knowing what to say also means knowing what not to say. And for an emotionally intelligent person, keeping particular words and phrases out of their parlance is just as important as saying the right thing.
The 6 phrases you'll never hear an emotionally intelligent person say:
1. 'I'm right'
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Emotionally intelligent people are less interested in who is right in any discussion and more interested in whether everyone is feeling heard. Someone may be completely wrong in an argument, and that can be overwhelmingly frustrating, but getting angrier and angrier at them won't make them concede; it will only make them dig their heels in deeper.
People with low emotional intelligence don't really listen. They're more interested in waiting for their turn to speak or speaking over a person altogether. A person with emotional intelligence is able to see all sides of a discussion because the relationship with the person they're speaking to is more important than being right.
2. 'Calm down'
No one in the history of the universe has calmed down when someone told them to. This phrase actually does the exact opposite, and guess who knows that? Emotionally intelligent people, that's who.
People with low emotional intelligence, though, will flippantly tell others to calm down because they don't want to validate their emotions. This will only make the person feel angrier because their emotions are being dismissed and misunderstood.
3. 'It's not my responsibility'
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Taking accountability for things takes a lot of emotional intelligence because it shows a willingness to share one's time and knowledge. Emotionally intelligent people are happy to take on more responsibility because it means that they can contribute more meaningfully to whatever work they are doing.
Harvey Deutschendorf, an emotional intelligence researcher and author of "Emotional Intelligence Game Changers: 101 Simple Ways to Win at Work & Life," explained, "They [emotionally intelligent people] view their role as a key part of a larger whole and often look for ways to contribute to the organization."
4. 'It's no big deal'
People who lack emotional intelligence tend to downplay people's experiences and feelings, and that's why they are comfortable using this phrase. Emotionally intelligent people will never be caught invalidating people's experiences or feelings; in fact, they are usually doing the exact opposite.
Psychologist Dr. Vinall told Parade that even though the intention behind this phrase may be good, it is still incredibly emotionally invalidating. Saying, "It's no big deal," could be a way to try to diffuse tension or calm them down, but more often than not, it won't be taken that way. That's why emotionally intelligent people avoid it.
5. 'I told you so'
Emotionally intelligent people usually know how to navigate tough situations when it comes to family and friends, but they would never throw it in your face if you don't take their advice. They understand that situations are nuanced, so their advice might seem one-size-fits-all, but it's really not.
Sure, an emotionally intelligent person might have been right to give someone the advice that they did, but they won't be prideful and rude about it. Kicking someone when they're down is never a good look and will only make them feel even worse.
6. 'That's just how I am'
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People who have emotional intelligence understand that they, and everyone, for that matter, are capable of growth. If someone comes to them and says that something they often say or do hurts them, they will apologize and immediately try to rectify the situation.
People who say this phrase don't believe in self-growth and don't value other people's opinions. This phrase easily ostracizes others because they are responding to feedback and constructive criticism with defensiveness.
Lyss Micalizzi is a writer covering human interest and pop culture, with a master’s in Literature and Culture, a bachelor’s in English Literary and Textual Studies, and over six years of writing and social media experience. Their work is driven by the belief that stories are what make us human.
