People With Zero Mental & Emotional Self-Confidence Usually Say 10 Phrases In Casual Conversation
Dragana Gordic | Shutterstock Confidence doesn't magically just fall from the sky. For many, building true confidence is a snail race that some people fear they'll never win.
People who have zero emotional or mental self-confidence often strategically hide their struggles. If you're curious about someone, pay attention to what they say. If they say these phrases, they may be struggling with some serious self-esteem or confidence issues.
Phrases that people with zero mental and emotional self-confidence say in casual conversation
1. 'I don't know, what do you think?'
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People who are struggling with self-confidence don't mean to put the burden on you when they say, "I don't know, what do you think?" every time you ask for an opinion or to help make a choice. It's just that they are unable to kick the worry that they'll chose wrong if left to their own devices. With that in mind, it's no wonder they're so unsure!
For better or worse, they care too much about people to be overly decisive. This is why they always ask others for their opinion. Without realizing it, they're stuck in a people-pleasing cycle and don't have the confidence to truly be honest or take a stand.
2. 'Sorry, am I being annoying?'
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Insecure people don't have faith in themselves. They're always second-guessing their thoughts, feelings, and self-worth, often without you knowing. Because they can't see themselves objectively, it's no surprise that they seek reassurance. Sometimes they do this directly by asking a question like, "Am I being annoying?"
It might seem harmless to jokingly say "yes" in reply. . However, during these moments, it's better to answer honestly. While they might be messing around, 90% of people who say this secretly mean it.
3. 'Are you sure you're not mad at me?
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People with zero mental and emotional self-confidence are usually horrified at the thought of upsetting others. To them, there's nothing more terrifying than accidentally making someone mad, especially if it's someone they care about. That's why insecure people will ask, "Are you sure you're not mad at me," multiple times.
They can't help themselves. They care too much about what other people think and are low-key terrified you'll think they're bad. Not only does it make them feel worse, but experiencing too much anxiety may actually mess up their entire day.
4. 'It's probably my fault'
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Those with low self-confidence are often over-thinkers. Unable to put a cap on their wild thoughts, insecure people jump to the wildest conclusions. A phrase they love to use is, "It's probably my fault," especially when they aren't being reassured. In their eyes, they're always messing up.
It doesn't matter how pitch-perfect their life looks on the surface. Those who are insecure don't see their value, at least not all the way to their core. This is why they're constantly scrambling to apologize. Even if it wasn't their fault, people with no confidence can't help but assume the worst.
5. 'I just don't want to disappoint anyone'
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Insecure people struggle to understand their own wants and needs because their sense of self is so centered around pleasing others. They often lose sight of what's most important. As a result, those who lack confidence often say, "I just don't want to disappoint anyone."
Call them dramatic, but every time they disappoint others, it's a hit to their already crumbling ego. They depend on people's praises to feel good about themselves. This is why they grow anxious when their reputation is on the line.
It isn't just about looking good to their boss. For insecure people, it's the difference between floating and feeling miserable.
6. 'I don't want to bother you'
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Those with no confidence are often highly considerate of others. Over-thinkers to their core, they never want to step on any toes. This is why they either start out or conclude even the most important requests by saying something like, "I don't want to bother you."
It isn't them being extra or even all that kind. It's them being highly conscious of their actions.
To them, disrespect isn't just immoral, it can invite aggression in others. That's why people who were mistreated in the past may be extra vulnerable to feeling zero self-confidence throughout life. It may feel annoying to the rest of us, but going the mile to make their intentions known is much better than leaving room for misunderstandings.
7. 'Sorry, I'm being difficult'
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Taking responsibility when you're being difficult is a healthy response to knowing you crossed a line. In fact, it conveys a high level of confidence when someone takes accountability.
However, people with zero emotional confidence often take this way too far or approach their apology for the wrong reasons. In their eyes, being difficult is practically the next cardinal sin. It isn't just unintentionally disrespectful. If they aren't careful, it leads to more drama than it's worth.
For many who do apologize, they find their relationships grow stronger and more resilient. But that's only true if the apology is genuine, or at least done with the intention to truly reconcile rather than appease someone out of fear.
8. 'I probably deserved that'
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Just like the apology in the last point, it's good to recognize when you deserved someone's ire or bad response. It shows confidence. However, people lacking self-confidence tend to always think they deserve the worst.
It doesn't matter what they did or didn't do. Without missing a beat, those with low confidence say, "I probably deserved that," and mean it. It isn't healthy, but there's no convincing them otherwise. You can't force someone to value themselves.
As psychotherapist Nancy Colier, LCSW, Rev. writes, "As we all know, we can't control anyone else's behavior, and we can't make another person want to or be able to change" but these people don't fully believe that. They desperately want to find ways to avoid people being upset.
9. 'Never mind, it's not important'
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It seems obvious, but people who lack confidence also have little faith in themselves. They don't know how to say what's on their mind because they don't trust that their thoughts or feelings are justified.
As much as you try to reassure them, it won't stop insecure people from saying, "never mind, it's not important" to dismiss something that the rest of us would be willing to stand by.
It's frustrating to witness, however, the goal isn't to be annoying. Those with low confidence are trying to be considerate of your feelings. However, if you feel a little manipulated by that, it's also very natural. You're right that they're not being totally honest, but that doesn't mean they wanted to hurt you. They're just deeply afraid.
10. 'I don't have any right to complain'
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Those with low confidence are highly critical of themselves, even when they're struggling and need to talk to someone. Unlike others who give themselves grace, insecure people have high expectations for themselves and fear being seen as needy.
This is why they're quick to say, "I don't have the right to complain." In the moment, they believe they deserve whatever misfortune heads their way, or, at least, should avoid letting anyone else say that part out loud.
Regardless of their positive behavior, they only see the worst in themselves. All they see are their flaws. This is why they pin the blame on themselves. It's toxic, but they truly believe they deserve it.
Marielisa Reyes is a writer with a bachelor's in psychology who covers self-help, relationships, career, family, and trending topics.
