People Who Effortlessly Command A Room Usually Do This One Thing When They Speak, Says Psychologist
Adrià García Sarceda | Unsplash People who command a room usually know how to slow down when they speak.
Everyone loves policing women's language, from telling us not to use rising intonation to telling us not to use hedging language that softens what we're saying so we seem "nicer" or more "likable" instead of "angry." The obvious solution isn't for women to change how they talk. It's that people should listen to what women say, not how they say it. Still, people do judge us by the way we speak, especially during public speaking. If you want to seem more confident, powerful, and easy to follow, one of the simplest tricks is to speak more slowly.
People who effortlessly command a room slow down when they speak
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Speaking more slowly makes you seem more powerful
You can start using this trick to increase how powerful you appear to others just by slowing down and speaking more thoughtfully and deliberately. According to the Stanford Graduate School of Business professor Richard Lee Cox Braden, powerful people speak more slowly. This is true for several reasons.
Powerful people don't rush to fill the silence
Power is related to status, and people with status know that they won't be interrupted when they pause, take a breath, or speak slowly.
Lower-status people, on the other hand, talk quickly because they feel like they have a limited amount of time to cram in what they have to say. Their figurative "talking stick" could be taken away at any moment.
Speaking slowly can make you sound more confident
Another reason powerful people speak more slowly is that they have (or pretend to have) confidence. Speaking quickly is a sign of nervousness, anxiety, or uncertainty, and can unconsciously indicate a lack of confidence.
This is especially apparent during public speaking, which gives pretty much everyone stage fright. Who here hasn't been to at least one presentation that was delivered so quickly you couldn't understand it?
This was certainly true for PepsiCo CEO Indra Nooyi in her early career. But today she speaks at a leisurely 150 words per minute, which is about the same pace as your average audiobook narration.
Carmine Gallo, the author of Talk Like TED: The 9 Public Speaking Secrets of the World's Top Minds, suggests that the ideal presentation be delivered at about 190 words per minute, depending on your personality and style. (For comparison, an auctioneer speaks at 250 words per minute.)
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Fast talking makes it harder for people to understand you
Finally, because it's harder to understand someone who's talking quickly than someone who speaks more deliberately, your listeners will have to work harder to follow your ideas if you're a fast talker.
This could signal that you don't think what you have to say is important or that you don't care how well your words are understood. So, if you want to come across as more powerful, speak more slowly.
The goal is not to speak painfully slowly
Try to match the pace of your audiobooks. Speak slowly enough that you can consciously process each word as you say it.
Practice now by re-reading the last sentence out loud and thinking about each word as you say it. It will feel ridiculous, but it will work wonders.
Eva Glasrud has a Master's Degree in psychology from Stanford University and is an education consultant at Paved With Verbs. She also runs The Happy Talent, a blog about social and leisure skill development.
