People Who Seem Effortlessly Mysterious Usually Do These 4 Simple Things That Make Them Intriguing
Jamie Saw | Pexels Some people don't overshare or overexplain — and somehow that's exactly what makes them wildly intriguing: what they don't say. The effortlessly mysterious person is like a series of compounding questions that beg for more investigation. Yet, the answers often remain unclear, so we paint in the details. The cool allure of the mysterious person across the room who creates intrigue compels us to dispel the mist with our own imagination.
People who seem effortlessly mysterious usually do these four simple things that make them intriguing:
1. They let the silence speak
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Therapist, Dr. Gloria Brame, Ph.D., is well aware that silence can be as powerful as words. A mysterious person knows that silence can be as powerful as words. They don't need to fill every conversation gap with chit-chat, they don't tell their life stories to people they just met, and they spend more time thinking than talking. A mysterious person is often an introvert with boundaries who doesn't need the constant affirmation of empty conversations.
This isn't about being deceptive. It's about self-containment and self-protection. For some people, mystery can also be a control mechanism, particularly when they feel uncomfortable or unsafe in a group setting. Being a bit enigmatic helps them avoid unpleasant conversations while also exciting curiosity in others. People often perceive such people as having the confidence to stand apart from the crowd. That kind of self-confidence can be intoxicating to others.
2. They smile rather than immediately answering
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Not all questions need to be answered, and some are nobody's business, asserts life coach Ronnie Ann Ryan. Be mysterious, coy, and beguiling, and simply smile rather than stooping to answering disrespectful or unwanted questions.
A mysterious person is likely not to answer a question directly. They dance around it and provide partial answers, then smile. They prefer to keep their own counsel rather than reveal and share very much. They are coy and dodgy, which keeps the mystery alive and you intrigued.
3. They listen more than they talk
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Life coach Stephanie Lazzara explains that when people listen more than they talk, it creates a sense of closeness for others. Closeness helps them develop more curiosity about you. Research examined how curiosity can have a positive effect on meetings between strangers. The studies found that the more curious a person is, the closer they will feel in both intimate and small talk conversations.
4. They maintain eye contact a beat longer than necessary
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Mysterious people tend to be fairly silent and listen to others while maintaining eye contact, says life coach Ellen Kamaras. Various forms of eye contact help the more mysterious person understand other people better and silently acknowledge that they are actively participating. Studies on nonverbal communication have found numerous methods people use for eye contact, which include direct held eye contact, indirect gaze, and eye tracking.
Whatever method of eye contact they use, the mysterious people who can really draw us in know when to break the spell. Eye contact held too long quickly dispels any sense of mystery. Yet, those meaningfully held eye contact moments that end a little too soon leave us yearning for more, while filling in the blanks with our curious and overcharged imaginations.
Will Curtis is YourTango's expert editor. Will has over 14 years of experience as an editor covering relationships, spirituality, and human interest topics.
