People With High Negativity & Low Self-Awareness Usually Say 11 Things When Life Gets Tough
goodluz | Shutterstock You've probably heard people say happiness is a state of mind. Well, so is misery. People who are highly negative often speak their unhappiness into existence without even realizing.
Without the self-awareness to catch themselves creating more and more negativity when life gets hard, they start to feel like perpetual victims of bad luck and other random forces. This cycle often starts with a few common complaints.
9 things highly negative people with low self-awareness say when life feels tough:
1. '...just my luck!'
I'm not going to try to convince you that there's no such thing as luck, that's too philosophical for a list like this. But one thing I think we can all agree on is that complaining about how bad your luck is only going to make things worse.
Yes, we all need to vent sometimes, but seeing yourself as always experiencing bad luck only creates more negativity. You start seeing yourself as a magnet for negative experiences, which means you only notice the bad stuff that happens.
When you are internally happy, you know that life is more about mindset than good or bad fortune. You don't blame fate. You focus on building a future, one choice at a time. Happiness is an inside job that cannot be found in external validation. People who feel like victims of bad luck often wait for some magical positive event to change their fate, but that's just not how it works.
2. 'Ugh, I hate people'
People who really are happy value connection with others. Even when people disappoint them, they do their best not to lump everyone in together and take a stance of universal hatred.
People who are high in negativity are often lacking the self-awareness to see that people generally respond to you in the ways you act. So if you go around saying you hate people, you're only going to attract people who are comfortable with that level of negativity. Soon enough, you'll find all the people around you are miserable, which makes you think you were right all along.
3. 'I just can't seem to do anything right'
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They say that if you believe you can, you can, and if you believe you can't, you can't. That means that whatever you tell yourself is possible can be done. It's mind over matter. Similarly, the words you put out into the universe dictate how you show up in the world.
But people who have found happiness learn from their errors and keep moving forward. They have self-compassion and an understanding that if they talk to themselves with patience, they can keep a healthy mindset.
When someone lacks awareness, they don't realize that their super negative view of themselves color their own perception. They stop seeing their talents and gifts, and only notice when they mess up, and that's no way to live.
4. 'That's not fair'
Life isn't fair. That part is true. As much as we wish everyone had the same opportunities and outcomes, that's not how it works. Of course, there are inequities in the world that deserve to be addressed, and we should work hard to make the world more fair overall on a societal level. But that's different from random bad things that happen.
See, fairness is subjective and nuanced. It's easy to feel slighted when someone receives something that they didn't deserve in your eyes. But for happy people, dwelling on life's injustices is not an option. They accept what they cannot change and change what they cannot accept.
The ability to turn pain into power is the essence of growth mindset, which has been proven to help people succeed. They take their hits on the chin and rise from the ashes like Phoenixes.
5. 'I never feel good enough'
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This one is always heartbreaking to hear from someone you care about. You know they're good, but they can't see past the parts that don't measure up.
People who are highly positive don't ignore the things they're not good at, they simply accept that as part of being human. They know that the reality of life is that there will always be someone stronger, smarter, and more externally successful. That's what makes humans interesting.
People who are highly negative may get stuck in a cycle where they only see what they lack. This can be a sign of depression, and if it continues, it might be smart to encourage them to find some support. Nobody deserves to feel this way for long periods of time.
6. 'Why does this stuff always happen to me?'
This question is an indication that the person saying it is engaging in victimhood mentality. Rather than understanding that life has ups and downs, they choose to avoid accountability and ignore the lessons they should have learned. They choose to devolve into a mindset of doom and gloom that keeps happiness at bay.
Positive people feel sad, too. They don't just float above the hard times. But, over time, their goal is to find the lesson in the loss. Challenges are a chapter, not the entire book, as they say.
7. 'People are always judging me'
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A while back, I went to a Jay Shetty show as part of his On Purpose tour. A woman in the audience was asked to talk about why she felt a sense of unhappiness, and she expressed that in her mind, everyone was constantly judging her. That's when I learned about the Spotlight Effect. It causes a person to overestimate how much other people are paying attention to their behavior, appearance, and actions.
Happy souls don't allow what other people might think about them to hold them hostage. They show up boldly and authentically. Instead of assuming the worst, they give others the benefit of the doubt, assume good intent, and dodge insecurity.
8. 'I'll be happy when...'
Some people believe that their happiness is tied to certain events taking place. They put their joy on hold, waiting for something to happen and sudden happiness to overwhelm them. While looking forward to something happy seems positive (and generally is great), waiting for that moment to enjoy your life is a super negative habit.
Noticing the sweet moments in life and enjoying what you have are the cornerstones of internal happiness, even though it can be challenging when times are hard. It's a daily practice to remind yourself that you have much more to be grateful for than not. That doesn't mean you ignore the bad or never let yourself feel sad, it means making an effort to find joy where you can.
9. 'That's just how I am'
Accepting that your negativity is just a part of your personality is an outright refusal to change, especially when that negativity is harming your life in some way. People who use who they are as an excuse for poor behavior aren't practicing self-acceptance, they're selling themselves short.
Positive people who are truly happy believe that continual growth is the only way to become who they were put on this planet to be. Looking back at this list, you'll notice that what's lacking in every example: an interest in growing and becoming a happier and healthier version of yourself.
NyRee Ausler is a writer from Seattle, Washington, and the author of seven books. She focuses on lifestyle and human interest stories that inspire others.
