People Who Don't Have A Ton Of Friends & Love It That Way Usually Share 5 Lone Wolf Traits
Lopolo | Shutterstock Making friends, especially as we get older, isn't easy. Our friend groups tend to get smaller and tighter, yet their size has almost nothing to do with how happy we are. People with large friend groups might feel lonely, while those with only a few pals may become incredibly close to them, or prefer a more lone-wolf lifstyle anyway.
People who don't have a ton of friends and love it often have a few certain traits:
1. They value quality over quantity
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People who have only a few friends focus on how their friends make them feel. They're less likely to have fake friends or cultivate toxic relationships with frenemies. They value deep, lasting connections and choose their friends wisely as a result. They don't have time for small talk or conversations that never go beyond the surface. They want to dive into meaningful discussions with the friends they hold dear.
According to 2014 research, developing friendships is a fundamental aspect of being human. Unlike other species, we naturally bond with people who aren't family members or spouses. Researchers noted that these types of social ties are unique to humans, stating that "Friends may be a kind of ‘functional kin.'" People with only a few homies make that statement a reality, as they consider those friends to be basically chosen family.
2. They're highly observant & astute
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People with only a few friends are very observant. They pick up on nuance and notice things other people miss. They pay close attention to what their friends say and how they say it. If someone is struggling, they won't put them on the spot, but they will check in privately and offer their support.
A person who only has a few pals tends to be a great listener, and a skilled listener at that. They practice active listening, which means they devote their full focus to the person they're talking to and know how to validate that person's feelings without immediately jumping to giving unsolicited advice.
They don't always share their opinions, especially in larger social settings. They tend to stay on the sidelines and watch how people interact first before jumping in, which is what gives them superior powers of observation. When they do take center stage, they take their sweet time to gather their thoughts before opening their mouth to yap.
3. People without a ton of friends have a strong sense of who they are
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The American Psychological Association defines self-worth as "a person's evaluation of themself as a valuable, capable human being deserving of respect and consideration." The APA also notes that having a positive sense of self is connected to having high self-esteem, too.
While it might seem weirdly counterintuitive, people who have only a few BFFs tend to have strong self-worth, and that's because they don't need external validation to feel okay about themselves. They build their confidence organically, and they don't depend on other people to stroke their egos. And as a result of that, they don't bend to peer pressure or change their mind based on what everyone else is doing. They feel totally comfortable and secure in having only a few friends, because those friends make actual sense in their life.
4. People like this are incredibly self-reliant
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Another fun quirk of people with only a few friends is that they're emotionally independent. They place a huge emphasis on being self-reliant, so they often keep their challenges to themselves. They process their emotions internally rather than externally, and spend a lot of time working through how they feel before spitting out their anxieties onto other people
Because they're more reserved, they sometimes struggle to reveal the hardships they're facing. They don't want to overshare or emotionally dump, which can mean they shy away from asking for help, even when they really need it. They worry that expressing their inner turmoil might alienate the few friends they have. When they do reveal what they're going through, they often downplay it.
While emotional transparency isn't their strong suit, people with only a few buddies often find relief once they share how they really feel. They might need a reminder that it's okay to be vulnerable, but with practice, they learn to let other people in.
5. They don't seek out attention
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People with only a few friends loathe being the center of attention. They'd much rather blend into the background and watch the world go by than stand directly in that ultra-bright spotlight. Their tendency to avoid grabbing people's attention sometimes presents problems for them, but for the most part they make do.
They might hesitate to speak their mind, even when they know they have a good idea. They tend to let other teammates take control of a project, which often means they don't get the credit they deserve. They have a hard time advocating for themselves because they don't want to seem demanding or arrogant. Even if they're highly intelligent, they can be overlooked, as more in-your-face colleagues who take up more space might block their shine.
Alexandra Blogier is a writer on YourTango's news and entertainment team. She covers social issues, pop culture analysis and all things to do with the entertainment industry.
