Mom Defends Choice To Make Her Kid Who Refuses To Go To School Face Truancy Court Instead Of Homeschooling
Kids need to learn that their actions have consequences.
fast-stock / Shutterstock Parents do their best to teach kids right from wrong, but sometimes, kids have to experience life and make mistakes on their own to truly learn their lesson. One mom took to TikTok after facing this exact dilemma. She explained that her child is facing truancy court for refusing to go to school, and mom is not willing to homeschool.
When a child refuses to go to school, parents are faced with a tough decision: bend to the child's will, or hold the line to make the child face real-world consequences. While this mom's decision wasn't easy, she received support from other parents who faced similar circumstances.
A mom took to social media to explain why she's making her child go to truancy court rather than homeschooling them.
TikTok creator @mamaof5chaos had to make the difficult decision to take her child to truancy court for refusing to attend school. She explained how this has been an ongoing problem, despite numerous attempts at compromise or intervention.
She said that they tried online school for a semester, but "they Googled all the answers" and ultimately didn't complete the classes. The school also attempted to work with the child by reducing the number of classes they were expected to attend and allowing them to finish their work in a different area of the school.
The mom even offered to take them in late and to pick them up early, but her child was unwilling to put in any effort. She claimed, "The only compromise is to give them what they want."
Commenters were supportive of the mom's decision.
The most liked comment on the video offered encouragement to the mom, stating, "Sometimes the best thing we can do for our kids is let them face outside consequences for their actions. Hang in there. You’re a good parent and working as hard as you can for your child."
Writing for Learning Essentials, special education strategist Wendy Taylor, M.Ed, ET/P, explained, "Many school policies and protocols today are not exactly reflective of the real world environment for which we are trying to prepare students. While these methods are put into place to encourage student success, the flip side of these practices can result in inadvertently fostering a level of helplessness, complacency, dependence, and excuses."
She went on to say, "[Students] must be ready to handle challenges, setbacks, and obstacles in order to learn how to mediate those hurdles. A great student and future contributing member of society, no matter his or her career path, will be able to problem-solve. However, if problems are always solved for them, they will struggle to acquire this skill."
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This mom should find comfort in the fact that an education expert like Taylor has more or less said her choice to make her child face the consequences of their actions is the right move. Other commenters urged her to stay the course, as well, saying they went to truancy court themselves and it changed them for the better. One wrote, "I went to truancy court. Scared me straight and gave me the opportunity to go to an alternative school where I graduated a year and a half early and thrived. You’re doing the right thing." Another said, "I went to truancy court and honestly it was a positive experience in the end, it put me on the right path again."
Other commenters described facing harsher consequences, but still coming out on top. One shared, "When my parents allowed me to see real world consequences (juvie) to my actions, my life completely changed and opened my eyes. I am now a neurogenetics PhD candidate!!"
The mom posted two follow-up videos debating whether to allow her child to go on their family vacation.
In the first follow-up video, @mamaof5chaos explained that the child was told that the requirements to go on the trip were that they have to attend school regularly, which they had been doing the last couple of weeks, but she was still deciding whether they could go.
In another video posted nine days later, the mom stated, "As it stands right now, they are not coming." However, she explained that she was leaving the decision open to change because she worried she didn't "outline the expectations well" to the child.
The commenters stressed that the mom's hesitation and indecisiveness were weaknesses that the child could take advantage of. One user wrote, "All I hear is 'Should I follow through on the expectations we clearly established?' Yes, you should follow through. It [stinks], but they don't get to pick and choose when school is convenient for them."
This mom is in a really difficult situation, and she is doing her best to be supportive while also holding her kid accountable for their actions. It's totally normal to waver and feel doubt, especially when one of the consequences involves a family vacation. It's easy to look in from the outside and say, "follow through or else," but the reality of actually doing it to a child who is going through a really difficult time is never that simple.
Whether other people watching agree with her decisions or not, no one can say she doesn't love her child. Hang in there, Mom. You got this.
Kayla Asbach is a writer currently working on her bachelor's degree at the University of Central Florida. She covers relationships, psychology, self-help, pop culture, and human interest topics.
