About 3% Of Men Have Sociopathic Tendencies — These 7 Subtle Signs Often Go Unnoticed
Amir Abbaspoor | Pexels We all love to watch them on TV, but we would hate to actually encounter one in real life. Yes, I’m talking about sociopaths. Unfortunately, sociopaths (now referred to as people with antisocial personality disorder) are actually more common than you might think: About three percent of men show sociopathic traits, and a few subtle signs are easy to miss.
According to the American Psychiatric Association, about three out of every 100 males are sociopaths. Approximately 70 percent of sociopaths come from fatherless homes, and 30 percent are born out of wedlock. Seems like a rough childhood may be in the recipe for what makes a sociopath, but not everyone who comes from a fatherless home or who is a child born out of wedlock becomes a sociopath.
These subtle signs often go unnoticed in men with sociopathic tendencies:
1. He's charming
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You know those guys who just seem to say everything right? And they can always convince you of anything because of their dashing smile, undeniable wit, and charm? Yeah. Watch out for those guys. Most likely, you did not just find your real-life Prince Charming. Most sociopaths are charming and have a certain “glow” about them.
They attract people well and can be considered super appealing. Now, not every attractive person you meet is a sociopath, but watch out for those guys who seem to say the right thing all of the time, have a strong physical attraction, and appetites.
2. He has a lack of empathy
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One of the most common signs of a sociopath is that the person cannot feel sorry for their actions. Since they don’t feel bad for what they do, they are basically free to do anything. “Many people with [sociopathy or] antisocial personality disorder do seem to lack a conscience, but not all of them,” says Donald W. Black, MD, a professor of psychiatry and author of Bad Boys, Bad Men: Confronting Antisocial Personality Disorder.
“Psychopaths always have this symptom, however, which is what makes them especially dangerous. When you don’t experience remorse, you’re kind of freed up to do anything—anything bad that comes to mind.”
3. He has difficulty with relationships
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This one is short and simple. If they can’t have a relationship with others, don’t try to have a relationship with them. There is a reason why none of their other relationships are working out. And no, it’s not because the sociopath is simply misunderstood.
Even though they are incredibly charming, sociopaths have a hard time making emotional connections with people. Because of this, they have trouble with relationships. Whether that’s a friendship, family relationship, or a romantic relationship, they struggle with it all. Watch out for those guys who don’t seem to get along with anyone.
4. He's manipulative
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Sociopaths are always looking for ways to get up in the world. They want to make everything go their way, so they will do everything to get life to go their way. Sociopaths will use and abuse the people around them to get one leg up on life. This manipulative nature can be shown in a few ways. For example, if the person you’re talking to is constantly trying to change your mind about something, watch out.
Or if you find yourself becoming a whole new person (in a bad way) around this person, also watch out. Psychotherapist Marni Feuerman agrees, stating that manipulators can “control, deceive, and take advantage” of you while seeming charming, which is exactly the kind of behavior sociopaths use to get what they want.
5. He's cold and callous
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They have an insensitive and cruel disregard for others. Some sociopaths may be violent and aggressive. Others may be abusive verbally. Either way, sociopaths don’t care about others. Even people close to them don’t matter. Because sociopaths are usually narcissists, they don’t care about others. Be aware of the people you meet who may have abusive tendencies, in words or touch.
But wait, how can a sociopath be both charming and callous at the same time? Quite easily, actually. The sociopath can charm his way into your life. Once he stays there, he can make your life miserable by being abusive and not caring about you. The charm goes away once you’re in his grasp.
6. He invents outrageous lies about his experiences
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For example, if your friend comes back from a fishing trip and tells you a story about how they caught a fish that was a foot long, but in reality, it was really only 10 inches. That doesn’t count as an outrageous lie. Sociopaths don’t just lie about little things or accidentally get small facts wrong. They create huge lies about big things. They basically live in their own world of lies, and their lies become their reality. Sociopaths lie about their experiences to make themselves look better.
Pathological lying is one of the features of antisocial personality disorder, and research has found that it often shows up as a pattern of repeated lying with no clear motive. Sociopaths build entire narratives around fabricated experiences, and the scariest part is they're often so convincing that even the people closest to them don't catch on for years.
7. He never apologizes
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Again, back to the whole lack of empathy thing. Sociopaths are usually convinced that they are never wrong. Even if they are shown proof that they are wrong, they will refuse to admit that they are wrong. Sociopaths have an ego that they need to uphold. Therefore, they will never admit when they are wrong, and they never apologize. Also, because of their lack of empathy, they truly believe that they have done nothing wrong because they don’t feel bad about their actions.
Now, before you start cutting off every single person in your life who has at least one of these qualities, please heed this advice. Some people just happen to have one or two of these qualities at various levels. That doesn’t make them a sociopath.
But the more of these qualities a person has, the more likely they are to be a sociopath. So the next time you find yourself on a date or meet a new friend on the subway, and they start to exhibit some of these characteristics, please proceedwith that relationship with great caution.
Kenzie Stauffer is an editor and reporter who covers news, psychology, relationships, and trending stories.
