Man Asks Girlfriend To Cover Up Tattoo Dedicated To Her Late Boyfriend — ‘He Said It Made Him Feel Disrespected’
This may not be a problem they can compromise on.
Karan Singh | Pexels Memorializing a lost loved one with a tattoo is a common reason people get inked. In fact, a Pew Research survey from 2023 found that 69% of respondents got their tats to honor someone or something that was meaningful and is now lost. Sadly, that was the case for a young woman who lost her first love and childhood best friend.
Unfortunately, her new love interest isn't too keen on the fact that she has her former flame's name inked on her body. He basically told her to get it removed, and she's just not having it.
A woman didn’t know what to do after her boyfriend asked her to cover up a tattoo dedicated to her former boyfriend, who passed away.
The woman took to Reddit to share the dilemma she faced as she tried to keep her current boyfriend happy while still honoring her late boyfriend. “In 2023, I … lost my late boyfriend unexpectedly,” she shared. “It was devastating. He was a huge part of my life as we were childhood best friends and then dated for three years. After he passed, I got a meaningful tattoo in his memory.”
She included a photo of the tattoo in the post. It had her boyfriend’s name, Daniel, in a beautiful cursive script, along with the date of his death.
Reddit
“Now, I’m dating someone new recently,” she continued. “Things have been going well overall and he knew about my late boyfriend, but recently he actually saw the tattoo and took notice [of] it in proper detail.” He didn’t react very well to seeing another man’s name on his girlfriend’s wrist. “He got visibly upset,” she said. “He said it made him feel ‘disrespected’ and like I’m not over my ex. He basically implied I should remove or cover it up.”
She tried to salvage the situation, but it was no use. “I tried to explain that grief and love aren’t black and white, and that honoring the past doesn’t mean I can’t be present in a new relationship,” she explained. “But he just kept saying it’s ‘weird’ and made him feel ‘second best.’”
“Am I overreacting for being hurt by his reaction?” she questioned. “Or is it fair that he feels threatened by a piece of my past?”
The general consensus in the comments was that this woman wasn’t overreacting, but neither was her boyfriend.
Most commenters agreed that no one was right or wrong in this situation. They were just two people with two different views that might be irreconcilable. “Sometimes people have differences that are too great to get over,” said one Redditor. “This is probably one of them. He’s allowed to feel upset by it and you’re allowed to hold firm on keeping it. Sounds like one of those things where you just may not be suited for each other.”
cottonbro studio | Pexels
“You’re not overreacting, but neither is he,” someone else said. “You’re both entitled to feel how you feel. If he feels [like] constantly looking at a reminder of your ex makes him feel like second best, that is because he likely feels if Daniel was alive you two wouldn’t be together.”
A third person added, “I think it’s fine if this bothers him, but given how important it is to you, maybe he’s just not the one for you. You probably need a partner who is able to handle the complicated feelings you have for your late boyfriend. I would not cover it up, and I’d seriously question if this is the right relationship for you.”
Getting tattoos as a memorial after losing someone has become increasingly common.
Vinita Mehta, PhD, EdM, cited a study from the U.K.’s Staffordshire University that found “memorial tattoos can serve vital functions in the grief process, including as modes of expression and communication, and preserving a continued attachment to the deceased.”
Permanence was one of the main reasons participants gave for getting their memorial tattoos, Mehta said. Clearly, this woman was seeking a sense of permanence by getting her tattoo as well. There’s nothing wrong with that, but she does have to think about how that permanence may affect others. And just like the commenters said, if it's not something she is willing to compromise on, she will have to find a partner who is okay with that.
Mary-Faith Martinez is a writer with a bachelor’s degree in English and Journalism who covers news, psychology, lifestyle, and human interest topics.
