
We can choose to be better.
By Unwritten — Written on Apr 08, 2023
Photo: pixabay via Canva

By Bethany Casey
As a writer, once you’ve said something, it’s usually pretty permanent. It’s there for you and the world to see for years to come.
I’m a very vocal person when it comes to a lot of issues facing the world. I will protest and petition for humans and animals all over the world. I will be an ally to anyone who needs one. But I didn’t always hold those beliefs.
When reading over some old articles or social media posts I’ve written on various platforms, I cringe. There are things I’ve written that would make me so angry if I saw somebody else say that anywhere, especially on such a public platform.
There’s obviously nothing hateful or abusive, but these small seeds of ignorance could easily have turned into it.
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When looking back at the things I used to believe, even the smallest of things, I hate seeing the way I must have inadvertently treated people or made them feel without even realizing it.
But the thing is, it also makes me happy because I can see that I’ve changed for the better. I can track my progress as a human being who is learning empathy and tolerance for other humans.
I used to make comments about women wearing revealing clothes. I used to believe that if I dressed a certain way, I should just expect that people would be overtly sexual toward me or assume things about me. Then I found my own empowerment and comfort in my body.
I was wrong about that.
I used to make comments about women who were skinnier and prettier than me. I used to believe that women should be soft and curvy, and that was what made a beautiful woman.
Why did I think that? I was more attracted to bigger women and am one myself. Did that mean I was right? Nope. Was I projecting my own insecurities onto others to make myself feel better? Yep.
I was wrong about that.
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I used to shame people for enjoying sex and act like it was an embarrassing thing to talk about. I thought women who slept around were terrible people. And why? Because I hadn’t owned my own sexuality yet.
I was wrong about that.
Now, there were a lot of things I didn’t know when I was a teenager. And I’m sure there’s still a lot I don’t know now in my mid-twenties. But rather than shying away from the outdated and ignorant beliefs I’ve held in the past, I remember them.
I could blame lots of things for my ignorance as a young girl. I was brought up in an area that was xenophobic, sexist, classist, and a terrible influence on young minds. And yes, that might be a reason I learned those behaviors. But it’s not an excuse to continue them.
Because we are in charge of our own actions.
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Because we can choose to be better.
Because being wrong isn’t always a bad thing.
Being wrong lets you learn and grow as a person, and encourages other people to reflect on their own stereotypes and prejudices. It makes me a better person and gives me faith that just because people are ignorant and hateful now, that doesn’t mean they can’t learn.
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Bethany Casey is a writer and contributor to Unwritten whose work has appeared in the Huffington Post, Thought Catalog, and more.
This article was originally published at Unwritten. Reprinted with permission from the author.