If A Friend In Your Life Has These 3 Rare Qualities, Don’t Let Them Go
Stephan Seeber | Unsplash By Cassandra Marie Vella
Not every friendship is built the same, but if a friend in your life has a specific set of rare qualities, they're someone you don't want to let go of.
Some people are fun to grab coffee with, while others are the ones you can call when your world falls apart at two in the morning. The difference between the two usually comes down to a few quiet qualities that are easy to overlook but impossible to replace once you've realized what you have.
Everyone has felt the love and appreciation that comes with having a friend that really has become a best friend. But sometimes a new friendship hits that line where you can’t tell how close you may be. When you reach that phase, we have some things you can think about to help you figure it out.
If a friend in your life has these 3 rare qualities, don’t let them go:
1. They make you feel safe enough to talk about the messy stuff
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Real closeness in any relationship comes down to being willing to open up about the stuff that actually matters, and having the other person respond in a way that makes you feel heard, studies have found. Sharing your emotions (the messy, vulnerable, scary stuff) predicted closeness way more accurately than just swapping facts about your life.
For example, talking about new crushes really opens up a door of vulnerability that shows how much you and a friend trust each other. Opening up that door to let your friend potentially judge you or your crush goes way further than you actively realize.
If they can support you getting into a new relationship, or even coming out of a relationship, and you know you would be able to do the same, don't let them go. They may be a closer friend than you originally thought.
2. They care about where your life is headed
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Discussing your future dreams, plans, decisions, and letting them discuss their thoughts, feelings, and opinions can show a level of trust not every friendship shares. Your future doesn’t necessarily include your friend, but if they’re active in these conversations and share their own future hopes and plans with you, they may trust you quite a lot.
Opening up to this area of potential criticism can show your friend how you are here for the long run, and hopefully, they are too. A 2025 study confirmed that when someone shares their real hopes and plans for the future and the other person genuinely engages with that instead of brushing it off, it creates this feedback loop where trust and closeness just keep building on each other.
3. They let you be honest about your family without judging you
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Whether or not your friend has met your family, telling them about your family really lets them into your world. If you both share details about your family and/or your upbringings, let them see where you’ve come from and what has helped you grow into who you are today.
Maybe this friendship is an online or long-distance one and you haven’t even met this friend in person. That’s okay! Even more so, talking about your home lives will help you and your friend build a strong connection and possibly a family-like bond.
If a friend in your life has these rare qualities, don't let them go. They're closer to being a best friend than you might think. Maybe they have other best friends and it hasn’t dawned on them that you’ve grown this close yet. Hey, you didn’t realize it until now either. Have fun, and keep that friend growing.
Cassandra Marie Vella is a writer, blogger, and managing editor for Unwritten, and contributor to Paige to Page and Under the Labels.
