7 Ways High-Achievers Can Learn To Be Gentle On Themselves

You don't have to become a slacker to show up for yourself in a loving way.

Last updated on Sep 09, 2023

woman reading a good book in comfy clothes George Milton | Canva

Let’s face it, life gets busy. Often, we wake up to our routine and allow our minds to churn as soon as our feet to hit the floor.

“I have to do this, do that, be here, and be there.” Before we are dressed and ready to walk out the door, we have used a ton of energy just anticipating how our day may turn out.

The question is: have you included yourself in this day? Or is it just another day of errands and tasks, running here and there to satisfy others?


Have you once thought about how valuable you are to yourself, how fortunate you are in this life and how much more love is available when you add self-love in the equation? Probably not.

During this next week try one of these seven ideas each day to help improve the love available to you — the most important person in your life.

RELATED: The Way To True Love Is Through Self Love


Here are seven ways to be gentle with yourself — and still feel accomplished

1. Take time to observe others.

I learn something new about myself each time I do this. Sitting quietly, observe people’s words, actions and most of all, their sighs, shrugs and body language. Just for today, take a few minutes each hour to sit and watch. Do this without judgment — just observation.

What things do you see in others that you also see in yourself? Vocal, silent, tired, restless, nervous, too many things going on at once? Anything is possible when we look.

Write down the positive things you see and at the end of the day, smile at yourself for these qualities of love.

2. Change one thing in your routine.

I'm a structured person — sometimes to my own demise. Routines often times keep us from experiencing the newness of life’s situations. So today, change one thing in your routine.


How does this feel to you? Is it difficult to come out of your comfort zone or let go of control and structure? Can you laugh at how easy or hard this is? What did you notice when you changed the routine?

At the end of the day, decide if this is something you want to continue, and hug yourself for trying something new.

RELATED: 8 Little Things To Add To Your Morning That Will Instantly Better Your Life

3. Nurture yourself.

So often we are so engaged with doing for others that we forget about ourselves. Maybe you always offer advice to those around you, giving others permission to rest, laugh, play, have dessert or whatever. For today, listen to the words you say to others and treat them as secret messages of your own soul's desires.


Just for today, listen to your own guidance; nurture YOU. Do something for yourself that you are always doing for others. Smile and be happy with it.

4. Be comfortable in your own body.

Life’s schedule keeps many of us in our head, a place where we think our way through or around situations or perceived problems. And so many struggle with body image because of this.

We fear being big, we fear being small, we fear being seen and heard or not. Just for today, bring your body along on the journey.

Feel the sensations of your feet touching the ground, of your arms swinging. Thank your body for supporting you, the wonderful person you already are. Notice any positive feelings your body provides and just for today, feel the whole of you.


RELATED: 6 Easy Ways To Start Loving Your Body, Right Now — No Apologies Needed

5. Count your blessings.

In our instant gratification world, it's human nature to want more. Just for today look around and be thankful for what you already have: your experiences, your friends, family, co-workers, and most of all, count yourself as a blessing.

See how all of your needs are met and be gracious for what life brings you each moment. At the end of the day, say a prayer of thanks.

6. Forgive.

This is a tough one, but oh so necessary for increasing self-love.

Forgiveness is the greatest healer of the mind, body and spirit. It opens our heart, sometimes with tears of joy and sometimes with tears of sadness. Forgiveness is a feeling, a feeling of acceptance for all that has happened, a feeling of letting go of the old and a feeling of gratitude for lessons we have learned along the way.


Just for today, forgive yourself for being too harsh with you; then forgive others who have hurt you or those you have hurt. Open your heart to receive the newness of this adventure and feel the openness within.

7. Play.

Everyone has their own definition of play. For many play is active, and for others play is passive. It doesn't matter. I myself consider reading a good book as part of my play routine.

Play allows us to rest and rejuvenate, laugh and smile. Just for today, play in a way that is meaningful to you. Play in a way that is comfortable without regard for what others may think. Build your self-love by allowing some play in your life.

RELATED: 15 Make-Or-Break Ways Your Self-Esteem Affects Your Relationship


Susan Dykes is a spiritual coach who embraces all the love a heart can endure. She teaches the processes of finding the love of your life, the very heart of your soul.